Took me a very long time to acknowledge that I had a problem. In current society alcoholism can is disguised as having a good time or fitting in with your friends. I feel like when I’m drunk Im on the top of the world, I am confident, outspoken, bold. But then I wake up the next day often wondering what happened the evening before, regretting words I said. The drunk and confident girl shrivels up and writhes in pain, soaking in anxiety and self hatred. Lying to everyone, “yes I remember coming home I wasnt that drunk.” “No I was completely ok I know what I was doing”. Im tired of apologizing for the things I do when Im drunk, and I’m tired of this emotional rollercoaster. Im tired of putting those around me in uncomfortable situations where they have to take care of me.
I am scared of being sober because I feel as though life will be different and unrecognizable. But I am starting today. The goal is to work on myself in order to be confident and proud without any liquid courage(poison).
oh god I hope so or why would we bother. hello and wish you well on your journey. I’ve been round the block a few times but one thing that always happens is even if life doesn’t get better we perceive it as better and we learn to deal with it. But don’t ever get too comfortable that’s when the trouble starts, life is good so I’ll go ruin it and start all over again.
Welcome to The forum Ally. With Talking Sober you will find incredible support here in your journey of sobriety.
Life will be different and unrecognizable. In your recovery, hopefully you will find peace and serenity. For me that was different and unrecognizable because I’ve never experienced that before in my life. “We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.” Stay strong and determined my friend.
It will be different, and it may take some getting used to, but you have a chance to make it what you will. You can rediscover things that gave you joy, before you started drinking. You can discover new passions that don’t involve drinking. You can learn to do the things you enjoy now, but do them sober. You can build new relationships that don’t revolve around drinking.
And regrets…you’ll have what you have now, and they will fade with time. Even better, you’ll have fewer new regrets, because you will be in control of your words and actions.
You will learn how to get better at getting better each and every day. Better today than you were yesterday, and tomorrow better still. Sober is better. Start there.
Hi Ally, and welcome to the forum we’re so glad you’re here. This is such an amazing place for you to start your sobery journey into recovery. Reading your post was like, wow! This was my exact experience with drinking too, I had the same fears and reservations also. I felt like I could have written your post myself (I think I did when I first joined haha). Just know, that this will get easier as you get stronger. You will find within courage and confidence you never knew you had and it will feel amazing as you open to a new life, sober. There are still lifes challenges you’ll face, but one significant one less. No more fear, regret, anxiety and despair over drinking/being hungover. You don’t have to go through that again, if you choose. Something @Yoda-Stevie told me (and others) when I first started is: say no to the drink that matters, the first drink! this has helped me immensely. I am 350 days sober today. I am now a non-drinker and I am very proud of it. You’ll get there too, just take it one day at a time and just keep saying no to that first drink. Stick around and read lots on this forum. There’s a lot of advice, experience and wisdom here. I wish you all the best Sober life = our best life
Every single sentence of this is true, you can count on this to happen, life will open itself to you with its multitude of possibilities, oddities, beauties. It will be more constant and reliable and you will be more constant and reliable and able to build on your experiences, learn and grow. Life will be different but it’ll afford you progress.
What you’ve written about the emotional rollercoaster could have been written by me a year ago, @Selenesiren. I was exhausted, I hated myself and was guilt-ridden and crippled by shame and I didn’t know myself, nobody did, there was nothing to know but pain and twisted was and confusion. I welcome you warmly to this forum and the chance to get rid of your anxiety and shame and embrace life again. It’ll be very different, trust yourself and work hard for it!
Thank you for sharing. It’s an uncomfortable road at first but it becomes easier. This was a great place to start, lots of support and advice. Stay strong and continue coming back!
Oh boy I am super excited to shed off some of these regrets ! Accountability for all of my actions is something that I’m definitely looking forward to !
we’re so glad you’re here. This is such an amazing place for you to start your sobery journey into recovery. Reading your post was like, wow! This was my exact experience with drinking too, I had the same fears and reservations also. I felt like I could have written your post myself (I think I did when I first joined haha). Just know, that this will get easier as you get stronger. You will find within courage and confidence you never knew you had and it will feel amazing as you open to a new life, sober. There are still lifes challenges you’ll face, but one significant one less. No more fear, regret, anxiety and despair over drinking/being hungover. You don’t have to go through that again, if you choose. Something 
