I hate days like that. I really hope it eases up for you.
I’m doing pretty good, it’s my daughters birthday. She’s turning 11 and she wanted family to come over, and sushi for lunch.
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Sushi!! Heck yea. That’s a great birthday lunch.
I don’t think my day will get much better today but I’ll keep reaching out
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It was a pretty good choice! I think reaching out is a great choice too.
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Doing my check in. Not a great day with emotions with the hubs. He made his way back today but I think my indifference toward him and statements I made earlier made him realize I’m tired of this…this lonely life. He is acting the same as when I got back from NC. Promising he will call the doctor and do anything to not lose me. I told him only his actions can speak for him. I’m glad I was able to steer the conversation because it started to go wrong quick and almost turned into an argument. I’m reading and going to bed soon. I hope he follows though with his statements. I’m trying to be optimistic
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I’m sorry to hear about your nonversation with your husband (nonversation = when we feel stuck and the patterns are frustrating and feel scripted and one-sided; a nonversation is the opposite of everything a healthy two-person conversation should be).
It sucks when you feel stuck in that pattern. It’s lonely. It’s an intimacy deficit. The “love bank accounts” here are overdrawn.
Give yourself a treat tonight. A nice bath maybe? A smoothie? Something nice.
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I’m about to go to bed. But those are nice ideas for tomorrow
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Good morning! I hope you rested well and are doing better today!
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I am well rested and in a decent headspace and keeping busy. Thank you for checking in on me. I hope you are well rested after that party!
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Glad you are in a good headspace. I am rested and recovered from the party- it’s so much easier when you aren’t fighting a hangover haha! I’ve been meaning to ask where you get your leggings from? They are all so cool.
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I get them from https://www.constantlyvariedgear.com/ They are compression leggings and squat proof! No one sees my ass without permission 
they just had a sale (that’s why I had new ones to post recently) but they are pricey (compared to like Amazon leggings) so I’ve been building a collection since late 2018
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Squat proof is soooooo important!
I usually do spinning or rowing, but more recently I have been running ( or trying to) and lemme tell you, not all work out pants are created equal! Compression ones sound like something I need, thanks for the link!
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You are very welcome! They are not all created the same. I don’t even wear another brand anymore 
they don’t slide when I run! They have pockets too! I carry my phone in 1 side and a small knife for protection in the other
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I was just looking at them and appreciating the pockets- I need pockets on mine for sure.
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Doing my check in for today. I got up normal time, short run, wrapped presents, ran a few errands, put up the Christmas tree, food prep, worked out, ate and am gonna read this book for a bit. I kept myself so busy because I’m very frustrated with the hubs but am letting him run him course so to say. He didn’t look for therapists or call the one I previously found. It was very hard not to push but I’m done with it. I need him to want to do this and I’m afraid it won’t happen. This relationship has been such a huge part of my adult life and it is scary to think of having to give an ultimatum, which I don’t want to do. I think those are shit but I am not sure what else to do and if I’m being honest I wonder how much easier it would be to be sober without his stress.
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HAHA (Rubbing hands together with an evil laugh) . . . now I know your secret. You know I do love your leggings. For $50 they must be decent quality. For me that is very important to keep the flab in check. 
I’m glad you are feeling better. The weekend got away from me and I didn’t have the chance to wish you well. Another week . . . another chance for good things to happen. I gotta believe it is so.
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Holy Smoke . . . I wrote my other reply before I read about your day. Do you get more than 24 hours a day? How do you manage that. HAHA That is a LOT that you got done. Keeping busy is a good thing. I know you have lots to consider in your life. Sending positive vibes your way. Relationships can be one big pain in the ASS! I know that from first-hand experience.
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Lol I’ve been moving for 12 hours. I just laid down for reading and relaxing before sleep.
And yes they are AMAZING leggings. I love the patterns, they are really comfortable while holding the flab in and not sliding! Haha, you crack me up, like they are my secret weapon or something
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Is it possible for you to get some alone time away from the house? I’m just brainstorming here. But I know sometimes getting away opens space in the mind, clears it up, and you can think clearly.
It seems to me the question you’re facing is:
If I don’t want to close the door on this relationship, there must be something I value here. What is it? What do I value about this relationship?
Emotions are strong indicators. You’re obviously just incredibly frustrated with his apparent “not-gonna-pick-myself-up” behaviour. Anger - frustration - means something’s not right. (Obviously.)
But there’s another emotion you’re sharing here: uncertainty; hesitation. Maybe a combination of fear (of the unknown; of giving up more than you want to give up) and sadness (at the prospect of ending something that has been so significant to you for so many years - including the years when you were leaving earlier, more difficult and dangerous times).
Am I in the ballpark here? If so - and if you want to talk it out, obviously it’s up to you 
- what are these emotions about?
I’m sorry for what you’re going through Jenn. It’s hard. It sucks 
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At 61, collagen is not my friend! I need me some STRONG elastic. I love the patterns. Maybe Santa will bring me some cool ones for Christmas. My sons are always looking for gift ideas. I love bubble bath and take lots of baths, but I have enough to open a store! It is the fallback gift.
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I don’t have this answer but you are in the ballpark with uncertainty. I feel all of those emotions.
I’ll mule this over and see what I come up with. Thanks @Matt for your insight
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