Let me begin by establishing that I am a mean drunk at my worst. I admit this hoping putting it out in the world in a safe environment will help me come to terms with it. I feel remembering this is important to my sobriety. They say “drunk words are sober thoughts.” I believe this is not true. I have said terrible things to people I love that are completely untrue in my sober mind.
Any thoughts on the topic?
Anyone that can relate?
Any research on why this happens?
Any help in better understanding this is appreciated. After all, knowing is half the battle.
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I can relate. For me, it was rooted in trauma and insecurities that came to the surface as anger when alcohol was involved. I also disagree about drunk words being sober thoughts, for me they’re sick thoughts and a symptom of the disease.
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I was never a mean or combative drunk. I went from “happy” to morose to drunk-philisophical. This assumes some residual level of higher order thought. I do know that at a certain level of intoxication, the frontal lobe of the brain pretty much goes off-line. This is where the “blackout” occurs. When the frontal lobe is off-line, that part of the brain that makes you, you, isn’t operating. Your “animal brain” is in control. I rarely blacked out. I most often passed out.
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I was just a mean drunk on my good nights. On the really bad nights I was a violent, destructive drunk.
My lack of sound judgment and lowered inhibitions made me a crazy person.
Now that I’m clean I have not punched anyone in the face.
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I don’t know how mean I was, mainly because I was often in a black out and totally unconscious. Probably for me I was more less very reckless, belligerent at times, and over all selfish. The next day I’d be horrified because the sober me acted quite differently. I can relate to be totally out of control insane with my drinking and not liking the person that I became.
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I wasn’t mean, but I was very argumentative. I chose to air any resentments or complaints while I was sloppy drunk - and often had no recollection of doing so the next day. I often had to check social media to see if I had gone on a rant about something. Booze took over any impulse control I had.
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I was absolutely a mean abusive drunk. I started as jovial but it flipped rather quickly into scathing words and actions, to fists on many occasions when the wife and I would “talk” about past transgressions. She’s a drunk as well. Drunk words are sober thoughts, of children. When drunk you live on emotions, there isn’t much reason, just basic feelings of happy, sad and hungry lol.
In my experience it’ll only get worse. What you once thought you’d never in a million years do will become commonplace. Knowing is half the battle however you can’t think your way into better acting you have to act your way into better thinking. It all starts with not picking up a drink, after that the emotional roller coaster begins. Life gets better when you don’t run/hide/mask all your feelings.
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