Beauty is only skin deep, and beneath the skin, lives a monster. From where he came, I don’t know.
I’ve always tried to be the guy who has his shit together but that facade is only skin deep. There lives a monster within. This monster is the dark voices that I’ve tried drown out for so many years. The voice that say I’m worthless, the voice that says everyone is better off without me and that I don’t deserve what I have. The voice that tries to convince me to give up on life and punch the clock, or worse. Ironically, the one thing that I used to quiet that voice was the one thing that made it louder; alcohol.
Sobriety is great, I love it, but that monster beneath my skin is still there, waiting, whispering to me. He still says the same old things, but his voice is quieter these days.
I’m not sure when this monster came to be, nor do I know how to exorcise it, but the one thing I do know is that if I don’t feed it, it’ll grow weaker.
If you have feelings of inadequacy or suicidal thoughts, just know that you’re not alone. Many of us struggle with that monster, even if we don’t look like it.