For the past few days I’ve been having trouble sleeping. Nightmares have been keeping me awake. So far they haven’t been too bad, but tonight they are not just nightmares of my imagination but the reliving of abuse. So here I lay praying that God will give me peace. It amazes me how weak I feel. I haven’t had any episodes in regards to my past in a number of months, but tonight it’s rearing its ugly head and I can’tseem to catch my breath. 
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I am so sorry that you are going through this. I wish I knew what to say to break your trauma induced anxiety. It sounds like you are working through something horrific. I am sending hugs, support and strength your way. Would it help to put some music on, sit quietly and focus on a mindseye image until it passes?
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Thank you kfair. You know I didn’t think to try that. I ended up taking something to help me sleep (melatonin).
Sound like you can use some therapy. I go through very similar things for me nightmares are part of my recovery but only in the early stages but the fear stigma and anxiety take awhile, several weeks or months. Talking to my pastor and praying helps me not saying that’s what you should do I have no idea what your higher power is but when I’m spiritually weak it’s much worse
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I drank heavily to avoid nightmares, then it became I needed to drink to sleep.
Have you considered talking to your dr? Maybe they can give you a referral, or possibly a good therapist to help process trauma
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@Fury @Ruzamo Thanks guys. I’ve had therapy when I was young it never worked out. Honestly, the day my therapist snapped at me and told me to get over it I never spoke about it ever again. Granted I was 12. So I really don’t like therapist. I’m not big in the trust department. Honestly. I’ve prayed, but its hard when I get into that mind set. Its like I avoid God because I’m afraid ill lash out at Him and then just regret it. I tried to talk with my pastor, but after bearing my soul I was unable to face him to really accept any real help. 
I know it sound as though the answer is easy: get help. But how do you convince someone who struggles with trust to do so?
Hi there, I just read your thread…I am sorry you are having such terrible nightmares about using. I understand the feeling completely, I’ve suffered from night terrors since I was a kid. But I have yet to have a using dream, although I understand they are common.
This sort of surprises me, but I tend to manifest my dreams in forms of animals and obstacle course type things. Which honestly, is very strange and confusing at times, but they are SO vivid. I truly believe dreams mean things- we just have to figure it out. Have you had any other types? Or are they usually very literal?
Your subconscious is definitely going through some huge things, most likely covered up by addiction. Might I suggest keeping a dream journal? More things might come out of you than you realize… 
P.s. I really think you need to learn to trust yourself first. Before anyone else. Be kind to you.
The hard truth fury is you can’t give up. I’m not a fan of medication but for some ppl it helps. Don’t give up on seeing a psychologist or therapist your not 12 anymore as an adult I’m sure your more open minded. Don’t give up you need to find what works for you. Don’t drink or use is first and foremost. Your reaching out now so thats also definitely a move in the right direction. Don’t give up
I live with you bro, currently eyes wide open in bed due to them nightmares
I had some trauma as a kid that has messed me up pretty badly. My first therapist wasn’t very good and it put me off it for years and years.
It finally got to the point where I was really struggling, even with the drink and prescribed medication I wasnt able to cope so I got another therapist a few years ago.
The difference was night and day. I got some really useful tools by someone who really seemed to understand and was able to help.
The therapist you had when you were a child sounds dreadful, but I’d really recommend trying another one.
Wow. I never thought so many people would care… thanks guys.
@stop.the.ride I don’t like having to write down my dreams. I spend most time trying to avoid them.
@Ruzamo Sometimes I wonder if I ever really grew up. I’m not very courageous.
@MwinecwaftOwO Sorry man. 
I wish I could help you. I’ll keep you in my prayers.
@Kipper probably, but I don’t think I’m ever going to be strong enough to seek that kind of help.
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