Ahah ahaha! Yes exactly lol Iām going to have to take some pics of all the books in that collection, itās almost embarrassing.
I think part of my addiction went into buying and hording self help books.
I had a blow up at my boyfriend yesterday. Iām pretty pissed at him and I think itās starting to come out more. Strangely enough even though I was pretty mean during the bow up I was more honest than I had been about my feelings of anger for a while, and he was more able to accept my anger than the passive aggressive behaviour and comments slipping out as I tried to mask how I was feeling.
Anyways, as ugly as my feelings are right now, Iām earning that itās better to let them out than keep them in. Iāve been feeling so high risk the last couple weeks and now that itās out, my urges to drink and smoke have subsided and Iām a lot more friendly/open and easy to be around.
Hi readers! Didnāt get too much further, but finished Ch 6. āA Closer Look at Detox and Withdrawalā. If I were reading this book just for myself and my own ādrug of choiceā - alcohol, I would probably skim past sections of this chapter that donāt apply. But since being involved in this forum, itās good to understand what others are experiencing, so Iām reading all of it in more detail. A few things of noteā¦
Page 99 mentions post-accute withdrawal syndrome (PAWS) briefly. I checked the index and there is only one other mention of PAWS in the book, so if you want info on that, not much is here.
There are 2 pages of resources for āSuicide Prevention Crisis Intervention Hotlinesā Iām pasting it below to bookmark for future reference for anyone looking for helpā¦
@jaimelee and others looking for an inpatient/outpatient program, this book/chapters 5&6 has a very detailed guide on how to find and choose one.
Hi readers and browsers! I finished Ch 7. āA Closer Look at Inpatient Treatmentā and Ch 8 āAA and other 12-step fellowshipsā (one of two chapters on 12-step programs). A few things of note/questions, let me know also what youāre thinking about book so farā¦
A good point about inpatient/outpatient treatment: āTreatment for alcoholism/addiction is not something someone does to you. Itās something you do for yourself. Even the best program canāt help you if you are not motivated, ready to make a change, and ready to live up to your responsibilities.ā - HOW TRUE!
There is a good section about āHow to Fail At Treatmentā on pg 131 that everyone should read!
āThe Recovery Zone System Continuing Care Planā on pg 133, is a great summary of all the work that needs to be done on a continuing basis after initial treatment.
I attend 1 to 2 AA meetings a week, but honestly I donāt have much knowledge about AA and fellowships, so chapters 8 & 9 are good for people like me.
Page 144 talks about the whole āHigher Powerā aspect and how non-religious people might adapt it. Apparently the AA Big Book devoted an entire chapter called āWe Agnosticsā - hadnāt known that. (I personally am an atheist, but really enjoy my AA meetings and the people there)
pg 157 goes into detail about āmaking amendsā, and comes up with some creating ways, such as doing it anonymously.
pg 161 talks about online and phone meetings, a topic raised here often.
pg 166 is a guide to finding a sponsor and even how to handle being rejected by a sponsor! @ClearSky you might be interested in that section. Let me know if you have questions about the content.
Hi readers and browsers! I finished Ch 9 āA Closer Look: 12-Step Programs and Youā, and about 1/2 of Ch 10 āFirst Steps: Living in Sobriety and Preventing Relapseā. A few things of note/questions, let me know also what youāre thinking about book so farā¦
A few times I tried to bend/pry the book open to better read the pages, and one or more pages came out! So handle it with care. (btw my teen daughter has a thing with books, if you ācrackā the spine, she will react with rage and disgust)
Ch 9 addresses many of the issues and criticisms that beginners and others have of 12-step program. It doesnāt come off as some staunch defense of AA, but more like what to realistically expect and how to adapt.
pg 187 briefly discusses groups for women only, both within and outside of AA, such as womenforsobriety.org.
Chapter 10 is finally getting to the meat of becoming and staying sober. This chapter alone is probably worth the price of the book. I started bookmarking/highlighting parts, but soon realized the whole chapter is important. Good line:
āRemember that when you wanted booze or drugs, you did whatever you had to to get it. You let nothing stand in your way. Transfer that same determination and creativity to your recoveryā¦ā
pg 194 gives ideas on what to put in a journal.
pg 197 discusses high-schools, colleges, or parts of colleges setup as a sober environment for study, and how to find them.
pg 199 introduces āsober helpersā something I never heard of, itās not a sponsor, but kind of a sober companion to help along in early recovery.
The āAvoid a Relapseā topic is broken into two sections, āResist Temptationsā and āDeal with Cravings and Compulsionsā. I only read the first section so farā¦
Covers āmyths about relapseā, and forming a relapse prevention plan
Changing/avoiding āplaygrounds, playmates, and playthingsā
Avoiding temptations at home, and on trips, and while flying.
There is so much in this chapter that we discuss on the forum!
Iāll comment on the 2nd half of Ch 10 another time. Thanks.
Hi readers and browsers! I finished Ch 10 āFirst Steps: Living in Sobriety and Preventing Relapseā.
The āAvoid a Relapseā topic is broken into two sections, I read section 2 carefully - āDeal with Cravings and Compulsionsāā¦ A very important topic on this forum! (see section 1 in my previous post)
They list 22(!) strategies and thoughts to help manage cravings once they start.
Good line: āIf your compulsion was triggered by a problem in your life, try to deal with it honestly instead of shoveling pills or powder onto it.ā
Other key topics covered include:
What happens after the pink cloud āI thought I would be happy by now!ā
PAWS (briefly)
Emotions that creep up
The idea of forgiveness
Cleaning up your online life
āDry drunkā syndrome
How to handle a slip / relapse
Again, I think Ch 10 alone is worth the price of the book. Even if someone doesnāt read this cover to cover, itās a great reference so far, and contains an appendix of resources, and a full index.
Im behind you and need to catch up asap. I must look at strategies to deal with thoughts of usingā¦ I need a relapse prevention planā¦ Any ideas where to start?
Hi @JustL I feel the book doesnāt really need to be read in order, as long as you read the chapters about the red zone before yellow zone. I would jump to reading all of ch 10, which I just discussed above.
Hi readers and browsers! I finished Ch 11 āFirst Steps: Relationships, Recreation, and Socializing in the Red Zoneā. Again the āRed Zoneā means the early stages of recovery, say 6 months to a year or longer.
This chapter covers topics that have been discussed many times on the forum:
Rebuilding relationships
Avoiding new relationships during early recovery
A partner who drinks/uses
Repairing the family
Sober socializing and friends
Holidays & events
Being alone but not lonely
A few of the more ācontroversialā or interesting pointsā¦
pg 243: āHonesty is important to any relationship - as long as it doesnāt hurt someone - telling your husband everything could very well hurt him, and it wonāt help your marriageā. This is rephrased a few ways in this section. I donāt know about that stance, and it sounds like a fuzzy line. I can see not telling every terrible drinking story, but what if one time led to an affair, or spending $2000? Those facts hurt, but seem important. What do you think?
I myself admit to not being full honest with my spouse, especially about my deeper past of āsexā addiction, but was my motive about not hurting her, or about fear and protecting myself?
Allowing a spouse or partner to randomly test you for drugs/alcohol? The authors feel this is an ok idea. I have mixed feelings.
The section on āSexual Intimacyā lists no less that 25 (!) reasons why there may be issues and problems in that area after sobriety - it makes you wonder if normal sex and intimacy are even possible again!
Under improving/solutions the authors never mentions the possible use of ED medications like Viagra or Cialis. Since I have no shame anymore after being on this forum so Iāll admit I did use Viagra years ago, and it was helpful. (Thereās a funny story there, but Ill leave that for another time.)
@Jbishop and @justbreathe77 thatās great! Remember itās not exactly a āpage turnerā but contains tons of practical advice. Youāll find you can skim past parts that donāt apply to you, so the book is shorter than it looks. Iām about 1/2 way through.
When you start reading it please post and thoughts or related experiences that come to mind.
(FYI Iāll be mostly off the forum until next week.)
@JohnSee My book arrived and started reading it.
I love the different zones described and the no-nonsense style.
Havenāt gotten that far yet but the clear reminder that ārecovery is a processā is so what I needed to be reminded of. Iām on day 15 and have been feeling a bit in a survival mode, or in hiding. Only have read into 2nd ch, but itās given me a sense of being on the offense in this process.
Looking forward to reading more.
Hi readers and browsers! I finished Ch 12 āFirst Steps: Education, Work, and Finances in the Red Zoneā and Ch 13 āYour Physical Health in the Red Zoneā
Some interesting points and questions:
pg 275 āCan I work without chemical help?ā Thatās an interesting question for me since I have not returned to work yet since being sober.
pg 276 āIf you are in recovery and stay sober, you canāt be fired for alcoholism or addiction. You are protected under the Americans with Disability Actā - did not know that!
pg 279 āWhat should I say when looking for a jobā - ok this section I strongly disagree with! It basically advises that for the sake of honesty in recovery, you should tell a prospective employer about your past problems with drugs/alcohol! Are they dreaming here?
I noticed that Ch 12 did not discuss looking for a new job. At first I was disappointed but then checked the index. Job search is discussed in more detail in CH 19 as part of the āYellow Zoneā
Ch 13 is about your physical health. Again the theme of the Red Zone is to mainly do damage control and not make any drastic changes - like training for a marathon!
pg 288 - 289 contains two pages of where to find reliable health and wellness information and providers.
pg 291 has a list of the āmost menacing medicationsā that people in recovery should not take, if at all possible. (like sleeping pills)
pg 296 āthe clean and sober diet for the red zoneā - they donāt mean a weight loss diet, but healthy eating, water, vitamins, calcium, etc.
pg 299 ādo I have to quit smoking now?ā This question comes up many times on the forum. Their short answer is NO wait until your recovery is more solid - the yellow zone.
From pg 300 on is an alphabetical list of āCommon Health Issues in Early Recoveryā (20 pages of them!) from Abdominal Pain to Wheezing. They discuss sleep problems which many people out here see to have in recovery.
Thereās a few more chapters after this and then the book gets into āThe Yellow Zoneā
@JohnSee
So glad to see you back posting on here! Iām still loving the book. Thank you!!
Still in chapter 2-3. Taking it slow and not wanting to rush too much ahead yet. Up until a few days ago, was still feeling so tired. Iāve been diligent with my workoutsā¦getting fresh air and endorphins inā¦ so healing!!
I agree, I donāt agree with sharing with prospective employerā¦ definitely dreaming.
I seriously hope readers would not follow that advice about telling employers their drug/alcohol use history! I assume common sense would kick in. Plus we are told not to discuss marital status, heath issues, etc on job interviews and applications - how is this different?!
Iām not worried about reading it āfastā either. On my daily checklist I just included to āread/study recovery material for 20-30 minutesā that is enough for now. Also Iām trying to read every page for the purpose of knowledge/review, but the average person can skim through about 1/6th of the book that does not apply to them.
lol Iām going to have to take some pics of all the books in that collection, itās almost embarrassing.
so Iāll admit I did use Viagra years ago, and it was helpful. (Thereās a funny story there, but Ill leave that for another time.)
definitely dreaming.