FWIW, true power is not torturing yourself or tempting yourself by having a bottle in your face on day one. It is getting real and understanding you are human with an addiction, not superman with a will of steel. Getting sober calls for being kind and gentle with yourself, babying yourself and building sober muscles.
Keeping bottles around, hanging in bars or parties or friends who drink in early days is asking more of yourself than you need to. I had to build my sober muscles up nice and strong before I could truly use them in tough situations. Otherwise I felt I was treating myself poorly by expecting strength and change I was not physically, emotionally or mentally ready for.
Be gentle and kind with yourself and please pour out that bottle. There is no test you pass and you are cured. Just do not drink today.
I did the same thing when I relapsed. I deleted my patreon pledge, I deleted the app, stopped coming on the forumā¦all of it. And that was after 4 months sober and being on this forum constantly. Itās discouraging and frustrating but you come back stronger every time. Congratulations on being back and being here!
Thereās nothing to be shamed or embarrassed on going to AA we all have problems and defects. The great thing about us is that we are willing to go somewhere to work on those defects in order to improve ourselves. AA will always make you feel welcomed. And your not weak your strong because you realized you have a problem and are willing to work through it to better yourself
Iām just starting to learn how to use this forum. and how to reply properly to everyone. the system just schooled me for replying to each message lol.
but hoping to those who were following my original post and in response to @BondJaneBond
This is my update. I did end up falling asleep. I never drank. and Iām happy to say i made the 24hr mark and got my day 1 badge. I had some bad relationship drama occur during my day at work. and I honestly think it was either God testing me to make me stronger , or the devil tryna bring me down with that bottle. cause he saw me make day 1 and didnt want me to make day 2.
So much happened and I was so angry that I wanted to calm that anger by going home and drinking. And making the excuse that I did day 1. so I can do this. so let me drink today cause Im angry. and start later since I know i can do it. i mean I passed day 1. Crazy logic. I know.
So Im now here 43.71 hours sober. which honestly is nothing to you pros. but its SOOOOO long for me. longest probably in years. Im calmer now. The bottle still here on my left. I know youve all said get rid of it you all are right. But somethings making me keep it there.
But Im not gonna drink it. Im too close to 48hrs. I dont want to reset that counter anymore
Trust me 43.71 hours sober IS a huge deal to everyone here, because weāre all in the same battle! Maybe different lengths of time on the battlefield but same war nonetheless. And yes, time stands very still in the beginning. Each day will go a little quicker. Really happy you chose not to make a bad day worse. Keep praying. Nearing the 48 hr mark is sensational. Share that gratefulness with God & ask for his help & strength through tomorrow.
Thanks. I truly find this app and forum does wonders. all of you with your positive words and encouragement make it so easy to keep going. its lingering alone and just listening to your own cravings that I find is the easiest way for me to fall.
Both tonight and last night. ive jumped on here before doing anything else. and its how Ive managed to hold on.
So big thanks and lets keep it going! next badge 3 days.
@Wineo, we ALL started with those hard fought precious 47.1 hours and were amazed and proud and tired to arrive there. Each new day allow us the opportunity to be sober, just for today, just for right now.
Life throws us crap sober or not, but believe me, as you build up those sober muscles, the crap can become easier to wrestle with. Learning new coping mechanisms helped me immensely.
Take it slow and steady and be proud of your hours.
Iāve been there many times. I lost the thing that mattered most. I never made it past one day until I joined aa. I donāt know where you are and if thereās any help there, but if booze is in reach and youāre alone itās (the wine) likely to get drank unless itās dumped. Youāre whatās matters most, and Iām told that I am too, even though I donāt see it yet. If we string enough 24hr pediods together, we live sober and the world cages right in front of our eyes.
@SteveRt sorry to hear about your loss. I know there are AA places I can go to here. Iām going to do some research and make it happen.
Proud to say 66.90 hours sober and counting. 5 hours away from 3 day badge.
Its not easy. the cravings are there. but the muscles feel like they are strengthening.
Im a night drinker. so my whole morning day and evening im perfectly 100% fine.
I drank as soon as I was in bed winding down. So my hardest time is when Iām bed. thats when the craving comes on and the battle starts. but Iāve also gotten into the habit of jumping on here once I hit bed. cause it helps
I realized I drank under all conditionsā¦good, bad indifference. If you find a good group I promise you wonāt regret it, and you might even stay sober. The best thing is, is that I didnāt have to provide the will power anymore.
Not gonna lie. I thought they were all kinda crazy, but they were undeniably kind and friendly. Being completely isolated for the last couple years of serious drinking it was now somewhere for me to go. Good luck, let me know what you find.