So I joined quite a while back. Tried quitting. Failed. Left this place. deleted the app.
Had a Denzel moment last week similar to the ending court scene in the movie Flight. Decided I have to do this. Said to myself last thursday this will be my day one for real. After work. got nails in my rear motorcycle tire. The one thing if anything, is my anchor in life and the one thing that would keep me sober. Relapsed that same day cause I lost the bike for a while.
Decided again I have to do this regardless of what painful thing happens. Reset the counter. I’m 4 hours away from a Day one badge. I cant remember the last full day ive gone not drinking.
I had nothing I wanted to drink at home. I figured that would help get through day one. Just go home. And kill time till I fell asleep. In the drive thru getting food. That voice in my head said. just go get a bottle of wine. you dont have to drink it. you can still get through day one and more after. But at least its there if you need it.
Now im laying in bed. bottle unopened on the left. sitting here typing this. Who knew day one could be so hard. how is this going to end?
It’s going to end with you drinking if you don’t get rid of that bottle. The first couple of weeks are the hardest. I’ve been sober for nearly 11 months. Getting rid of all the alcohol in my house and going to AA regularly for the first 90 days makes it easier.
I agree. Just get rid of the bottle now while you’re determined. One day sober is a really good first step, but you’re setting yourself up for failure. Instead of drinking as soon as that clock hits 24 hours, go another day.
I’m doing good so far. im not drinking it. I dont think i will tonight at least. the urge is lighter now compared to earlier. maybe cause im tired. but part of me doesnt want to get rid of it
You don’t want to drink it. It’s ok not to. It won’t help, one bottle won’t be enough & soon you’ll be back on the hamster wheel cycle of alcoholic misery. Try going without just for tonight. Don’t think about tomorrow. When you get a craving, set your timer and read all over this forum for :30 min. The craving will pass. Are you a praying man? Try asking for help from above to get you through tonight.
AA is my saving grace right now. They will understand what you are going through, and won’t judge. We’ve all been there. It’s the ones that come back in that are the most important.
I am a believer. I really believe how I even got this far today and didnt drink it so far was cause I believe I got a direct message from Big Boss. I was taking an epsom salt bath. cause i knew that will tire me out and make me want to fall asleep without the wine, that I always use to fall asleep. and during the bath. verse of the day pops up on my phone bible app. and it opened with “Be Sober”
What a cool moment you & the Big Boss had in that bathtub OK I’d definitely listen to the guy… and the healthier you get the more clearly you’ll hear him. This could be your day one in less then 4 hrs! That’s another miracle to add to your list. Read through this forum until you’re sleepy and tomorrow…same mindset! Pray over morning coffee. Break the day down into easy manageable blocks of time that you can manage staying sober in & walk into your first AA meeting. You don’t have to say a word if you’re not ready, but let the first person you see know that you’re new & they’ll tailor the meeting for you.
Thank you all for the words. i find just reading everything you guys are saying is helping curb the urge. positive distraction so powerful. God is great. I cant wait for my motorcycle to be back on the road. any urges then will easily be silenced with 2 wheels
There is nothing to be embarrassed about in going to AA. I have been going and honestly it has saved my life. I was scared shitless to go but once I did and followed the steps my life got better. It is not perfect by no means but I have people that are really supportive and there to help. I agree with getting rid of the bottle. As soon as you can find a meeting. Google search AA meetings in my area and you will find something. You are not alone many of us went through what you are going through. Not drinking is hard but you can learn how to be sober. Stay sober for just today. Worry about tomorrow tomorrow.
thanks. i think ill be able to do day one. im almost there 3 hrs left. ill probably sleep before the time anyway. the bottle is still here. i should get rid of it. although right now my urge is 0. but i get it. its when urge isnt 0. itll be so easy to relapse and ill have lost the little yet big progress ive made.
Like you said God is good. Sometime I pray until my head clears and I fall asleep. Pray or talk aloud to break the silence. N the meetings we say. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. Gabe is a good resource on here as well. I wish you a peaceful rest tonight.
If you keep that bottle, it’s not a matter of if you’re going to relapse, it’s a matter of when. What exactly did you decide you have to do? Be dry for a day?
I had decided I have to quit completely cold turkey. Cause I knew that the fact I was struggling to even manage a day showed I had a serious problem. and the fact i cant even remember when I ever went even just a day without drinking. that was like damn. at least I know im the type of person. who can keep consistency after the hump. but for me the hump is the hardest part. so if i manage a day. its just a matter of repeating it.
in theory
i totally agree keeping the bottle will be my downfall. i mean. true power is keeping the bottle and not opening it. but we all know I aint there yet.
OK I’d definitely listen to the guy… and the healthier you get the more clearly you’ll hear him. This could be your day one in less then 4 hrs! That’s another miracle to add to your list. Read through this forum until you’re sleepy and tomorrow…same mindset! Pray over morning coffee. Break the day down into easy manageable blocks of time that you can manage staying sober in & walk into your first AA meeting. You don’t have to say a word if you’re not ready, but let the first person you see know that you’re new & they’ll tailor the meeting for you.
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