Just need some words of encouragement or advice. I’m here this evening on day 34. Had a great weekend with my family. Was able to have my son too. I usually only get him one day a week. This is normally the time I’d “celebrate” a great weekend by having about 4-5 double shots of 100 proof Smirnoff and then cracking open my first beer or cider of the night. Fire up the grill as the buzz sets in and just revel in all the great things I have in my life. I’d keep taking those double shots all evening in between beers until I was beyond toasted. I’d cook our food which would hopefully turn out ok if it wasn’t burned or under cooked. Most would already be asleep or not wanting dinner anymore since I stalled out on starting the meat because I didn’t want to kill my buzz by eating. (Eating was always the very last thing I did before crashing out passing out.
I’m literally licking my chops right now. Not for the bbq if you get my drift. I haven’t had this urge in 34 days like this. I won’t give in, but this sucks and I shouldn’t want this soooooooo bad, but I do.
Indeed. I lived my life in a state of perpetual hangover daily. It was just the norm. Couldn’t wait to start drinking when I got home to tame the hangover from the previous night.
Yeah, we shouldn’t, but sometimes we do, crazy isn’t it? Wanting something that drove us away from connecting with our loved ones and littles waiting to be fed. Drove us away from our selves, desperate for a different life and scared of it too.
For me, I kept a list on my phone…of some of the many many many many many shitty things I had done and said…ways I had let down myself and people who cared for me…people who depended on me to stay alive and be fed and loved…the millions of small and big ways I let myself down over and over again. And when I thought…this is too tough, oh, one or two drinks will take the edge off or I will start again tomorrow…
I read that list and I was reminded of what a hateful pathetic wretched wife and mother I very often was. And how I despised myself.
Thank you Sassy. I know we’ve talked before, in fact you joined TS not long after I did originally. The difference is you’ve stayed sober and I stayed a train wreck.
I was on the train for a long time. You can push past this right now. Just gotta get thru the moment. It sucks. I know it sucks. Just for today. 34 days is really good. I guarantee you will be proud waking up hangover and regret free.
Good for you for coming here !! Sounds like the bbq may be a memory trigger. What about going on a bike ride. Silly as it may sound I found doing - anything - different helped to distract my mind until the thought/craving passed. You can do this.
I have 107 days without a drink today. Sometimes the hangovers are enough for a person to think, dam I fked up.
I usually got hung over quick
I’d be drinking for however amount of hours then be completely sick for the rest of the night till the morning.
I was hungover longer then I was drunk
I crave a little sometimes
Yet
I like sobriety more then drinking by far
When I crave I just let it pass and I feel even better then I would feel if I was drunk
It’s like a strange light that shines when you beat the cravings
Hey man stay strong, just think of the terrible side effects, hang over, and down falls. Don’t just think of the fun “buzz” it ain’t worth it in the long run especially if you know it’s caused you problems before.
I’ve been reading a book called ’ the naked mind control alcohol ’
Sometimes our unconscious mind effects our cravings because the social norms around us convince our conscious mind it’s more appealing then it’s not.
Congrats on your time sober! Is it true at around 90 days something clicks and happiness being sober becomes easier? Just been looking at the science of the addicts brain lately.
Yes I believe so. But remember that this addiction is a disies. I wish it wasn’t but it is and it’s really strong. But you can be stronger then your addiction
Easy does it
Be wise. Alcohol never helped anything huh
