Last night was rough. There was little voice of self destruction in my head. One min I’m fine saying Jay your not going to use seconds later it the voice is saying well one more time, then seconds later the other voice was saying no u got this. This went on for hours it drove me crazy.
I picked up and lost to the voice of destruction
You’ve got to get up, get out, go for a drive, a walk, a jog, go to the gym, a meeting - anything to distract the voice.
A long time down the line these things won’t be the distraction, they’ll be ‘what you do’, and the voice will be an occasional whimper.
Just brush yourself down and start again @Kaisersosa, we’ve all been there, that’s for certain!
So decide to be mentally stronger, and then be mentally stronger. Look at that voice telling you to use as the enemy. He’s skulking in some spider-hole in your mind, laying an ambush for you. Learn to read the signs that tell you he’s waiting out there for you, and out flank him. Do the things you need to do while he’s waiting, to be stronger than he is when he tries to spring the trap.
Pray and/or meditate. Listen to motivational stuff. Do more than exercise…actually train for something, building the self-discipline required to train and then to accomplish your goal. Build healthy relationships with healthy people. Find a mentor or life-coach. Figure out what strong, successful people do, how they do it, and then emulate them…because that is how they did it.
I defeated my “voice” by declaring war on it. Total war. No peace negotiations. Either sober me wins, or drinking me wins. I get to choose, but there can be no peaceful coexistence.
“Inside of me there are two dogs. One is mean and evil and the other is good and they fight each other all the time. When asked which one wins I answer, the one I feed the most”
-Sitting Bull-
Oh man, do we ever know what you’re talking about. May as well have those little cartoon devil and angel guys whispering in each ear when that happens. You win some and you lose some on those situations. Try and find something enthralling on Netflix, call somebody, go hang out at an AA or NA meeting place in the lobby for a few hours - can’t do drugs there! Most importantly, just remember that if you give in to the urge, it’s not the end of the road, it’s just a speedbump on the road to recovery. We’ll all get there in time!
Thank you for the suggestions.