This is my first week of sobriety and the weekend is approaching which is usually the time I binge until Monday. All of my friends and family that I would normally hangout with party hard. Iām not ready to share my choice with them but donāt want it to seem like I donāt want to be around them.
I need advice on what to do. I usually do almost every activity (including binge watching series) with wine. Please help
There was a point in your life when every one of your activities was without wine Sandy.
It is a pain but youāre going to need a couple of months rewiring your circuits - lifeās relatively easy after that.
The first weekās the most difficult so youāre in a bit of a spot. Do you think youāre not ready to be with your friends and stay sober? Thatās the big question.
Charles I really donāt know the answer to that especially since most of our outings and interactions are over wine or shots. I spent my entire 20ās under the influence and have had brief breaks when fasting.
Just reading your advice about requiring my circuits I think I will just have to be distant for now until I feel strong enough to say no thanks.
I can only wish you the strength to get through the first week or two. Youāll really see things in quite a different light after that.
And you know, all the people on this forum are right behind you!
For me setting boundaries was one of my biggest challenges. For me once i told my close friends they were so happy for me i was sober because i was always the problem of the group. Hanging around them and ordering soda or water and saying no thanks made me feel good for a little while. Till one day it wasnāt enough. Today i find friendship with people in the fellowship.
Take your time not being around loved ones and close friends. Remember good healthly relationships with people who love & care about you will welcome in your new choice
Maybe this first weekend you should fake illness and stay home. Tell them you have Norwalkā¦theyāll want to stay away from you for sure. LOL
Itās so funny that you mentioned that lol I have been sniffling this week.
Iām sure theyāll understand Iām just not ready for the talk with them but thanks for the advice I will try and I have been looking up local meetings.
Iām 52 days sober today and only a handful of people know about my sobriety. I have gone out with coworkers and I didnāt feel comfortable telling them about my sobriety so I lied lol I told them Iām on a strict diet. They might wonder why I havenāt lost any weight, but whatever lol
Yep. Lie. Best advice I ever got. Donāt feel pressured to tell anyone (except a close few) because youāre doing this for you and sobriety needs to be priority. You will definitely have to relearn how to do certain things in your life without alcohol, especially if everything revolved around it. I know my life did.
Sandy,Iāve been open with my friends, they know I can get carried away in a heart beat. In enough trouble now with the consequences because of drinking . Theyāre all cool with it & donāt push me to drink with them. Councillors all say biggest triggers people places & things.
Stay strong and youāll figure out just as much fun(kinda) without it. Still working on it to
Weekends were the hardest for me when I first stopped drinking. I had to stay away from bars for the first month or so or I would have quickly picked up a glass and resumed. The beginning was definitely the hard. I was tired all the time and lonely-- felt like I was missing out on all the fun. I was also surprised by the amount of pressure people put on me to keep drinking. I felt as if I was in a sad after school special on peer pressure. I learned that I had different kinds of friends-- some turned out to be just drinking buddies. Drinking buddies really want you to keep drinking with them. My real friends were supportive but I also didnāt let on until I had built up a a month or so of sobriety. I also initially made a small ritual of getting a nice glass and filling it with seltzer and lime juice when I got home from work each day. It helped.
All my friends are heavy drinkers. Well, alcoholics more or less. So we have always kept each other in denial about our drinking, although we knew we had a problem. When I quit drinking they understood why and a lot of them talked to me about wanting to cut back as well. You know how I got even more determined to quit? By going out with them my first week of sobriety. Just watching them when they were totally drunk, could barely stand or talk made me grateful I was sober, because I knew thatās how I look when I drink. Also, gave me a chance to look after them and get them home when theyāvery clearly had enough. Now every time I go out with them I feel proud of myself for quitting and it also made them think about their drinking, although theyāreally far from wanting to quit completely.
OMG that is exactly what I am realizing today! Im just hoping to be as strong as everyone this weekend but I do have a plan.
Thanks for the tips and advice! I definitely have a plan for the weekend but donāt be surprised if Iām on here late night chatting for support. I finally shared my decision with the closest person to me and theyāre being supportive (Iām shocked). Iāve also decided to stay away from my āpartyā friends for the rest of January or longer until I feel stronger and after that I will find substitutes for alcohol when we are out. Thanks again Everyone! I knew that I would like this app! 