I’m not religious but I like the serenity prayer. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. Is the part I’ve been having problems with lately. I just hit 4 months sober and was having a panic attack tonight. The longer I’m sober the more I remember and the harder it is to ignore my flaws or my past, I got stuck in a why me loop (parents, genetics, losing friends etc.) that I couldnt get out of. I was wondering how you guys have dealt with this or any helpful advice?
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When I was using I drowned all my problems, defects and my defunct past in drinking and drugging. So I didn’t have to face them and could just forget about it all. Or at least I tried too. And I quit when that tactic clearly didn’t work no more and I was getting pretty close to killing myself.
Now I’m sober i have to learn to face my problems and work a way through them instead. That’s very hard work at times. I think the paradox here is that learning to accept the things you cannot change takes work, working on the things you can change. By working the the 12 steps for example, or to do therapy, or any other way that works for you. And keep working it. For me personally I have more a ‘is this all there is feeling’ since I became sober instead of your ‘why me’ feeling. But I think that basically comes down to the same thing. We have to work our sobriety. One day at a time but each day. It takes a lot of work but it’s a work of love and so worth it. Congrats on 4 months and keep going Isaac. Doing good.
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Good morning, I feel for you, because I have had these feelings myself and still have them now and then. Provide enough distraction although it is difficult in this corona time to do something fun outside doors. You have always pushed these feelings away by drinking, and now that that is not the case, the little devils come back to play. Therefore and it will not be easy, but do not give in and stay with yourself. In 10 days I will be 1000 days clean to a 23 year drug addiction. I also often went through those heavy valleys, but eventually came out. I will think about you and keep communicating in this place. SUCCESS 
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