The world's a much better place sober... šŸ˜Š

My husband is not the monster :smiling_imp: that I thought that he wasā€¦ I was broken long before we ever metā€¦ He is a human being with his OWN set of struggles and strengthsā€¦ Man, oh man is he ever a strong man!!! :muscle::older_man:

Really GLAD that I didnā€™t do anything insanely stupid (like actually die, move out or get a divorce because I didnā€™t know how to cope) in the middle of me trying to get sober and further destroy our familyā€¦ That wouldnā€™t have gotten me very far because I would have never owned my issueā€™s!!! Thatā€™s a fact for meā€¦ :100:

The more sober time Iā€™m gathering on this journey the better the world is looking to ME by just ME fixing MEā€¦ :eyes::earth_americas::100:

Iā€™m gonna spend more time in giving back to those :sparkling_heart:who never gave up on meā€¦ :100:

So THANKFUL to finally be seeing this!!! :coffee::older_woman:

My husband is my hero!!! He has spent the last 679 dayā€™s of his life trying to help me in any way that he knows howā€¦ :sparkling_heart::older_man: We can both be @ssholes at timeā€™sā€¦ :100::100:

This alcohol battle might be one that I have to face alone to some extent but Iā€™m ok with that!!! Thank you so much TS for being here for me and my family!!! :revolving_hearts:

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It sure isā€¦ :blush::100: I know there are gonna be timeā€™s when Iā€™m feeling really down and it might seem like Iā€™m being tested or pushed out but itā€™s gonna happen when trying to improve myselfā€¦ We all got issueā€™sā€¦ That alcohol is some dangerous stuff for someā€¦ So glad I came here and learned what I needed to do and what I need to continue to work onā€¦ Which is break the bad habitsā€¦ :neutral_face::100:

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I hear you! A million times when I was drinking I wanted out of our marriage. I thought my husband was such a dick. Surprise!! It was (mostly) me being a dick!! It is laughable now, but man, he put up with a lot.

Glad you are working on your stuff and marriage and appreciating who he is and who you are. Life can be much simpler without the chaos of drinking. :heart:

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Itā€™s been a pleasure you alwsy have a great input into this community and I myself are hourned to be on this journey with you.:heart::pray:

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You got that right Sassyā€¦ :100::blush: I even almost knew these thingā€™s and still thought that a couple drinks would be ok for me a couple times since I joined here back last fallā€¦ Well that turned into a backout, dayā€™s sleeping, bad dreams, mind tricks, along with all the other ugly before I realized I had to stop thisā€¦ Every time I drank it set me back this far in realizing the truthā€¦ Iā€™m an Alcoholicā€¦ I canā€™t never drink againā€¦ I just made it 40 dayā€™s to the best days of my life because my worst day sober is better than my best days drunkā€¦ :100:

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Thank you so much @Lilemm you and so many otherā€™s are a huge inspiration to me and teach me dailyā€¦ :blush:

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Husband :older_man: thinks Iā€™m a little crazy with this discovering me stuff but I know itā€™s because I was always mentally altered in one way or another and it might seem a little weird to himā€¦ Iā€™m learning/relearning me tooā€¦ :coffee::older_woman: Iā€™m not gonna let that drive me to drinking today like I have beforeā€¦ He said to me that he might have me committed if I donā€™t stop acting so weird, not sure how serious he wasā€¦ My response to him that day was ā€œGood, maybe they can help me figure this out, I gotta problemā€¦ā€ That was 40 dayā€™s ago and ongoingā€¦ I was willing to goā€¦ :joy: Iā€™m making progress and getting betterā€¦ :100: They wonā€™t hold me there unless they have a reason toā€¦ Iā€™m not gonna fear thatā€¦ :blush:

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Things certainly seem more black and white and desperate when drinking. I donā€™t think of my husband as a hero, but when sober can appreciate he was doing what he thought was best in relation to my drinking. Outside of drinking, sobriety is helping me understand and deal with his flaws and my own flaws in a more constructive way than ā€˜fuck youā€™ and ā€˜Iā€™m fuckedā€™, which was respectively how I dealt with the problems drunk.

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PS I love ur use of emojis!
Do u know emoji comes from Japanese? E is picture and moji is letter. The emo doesnā€™t stand for emotion.

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I did not but Iā€™m glad I do nowā€¦ :blush::100: That is one thing about myself that I :pray: that I never outgrowā€¦ I :sparkling_heart: emojis like some folks :sparkling_heart: their :dog2:ā€™sā€¦ LOL :joy::joy::joy:!!! :coffee::older_woman::100:

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Quote of the day for me right here. :+1: :sunglasses: And it never gets old.

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Iā€™m certain I learned that right hereā€¦ :blush::100::100::100:

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Absolutely get what you are sayingā€¦:joy::100: That kind of changed my perception right back to equal struggling human again real fastā€¦ Today when he called me crazy again right after I made this post LOL but Iā€™m not gonna let it get me downā€¦ I know betterā€¦ Iā€™m gonna keep on keeping with no love lossā€¦ :joy:

Iā€™m gonna let him rest and work on my spring/summer inventory because I know good and well the hotter it gets the stupider I get already in advance from many other seasons pastā€¦ :blush:

Your story is really inspiring for many people. I believe im in a similar situation with my spouse but sometimes I fail to see all her qualities like you mentioned and just focus on the negatives. I think its the addiction trying to sabotage things so I end up alone and free to embrace addiction again.Shes a super hero to help me for all these years and never abandon me when i was an asshole many times.

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Thank youā€¦ In all honesty I think I may get sudden bursts of excitement thinking Iā€™m actually learning something about myself to save myselfā€¦ In doing this I have to look past the actions of otherā€™s and only look at meā€¦ My hearts in the right place for sure but I know that Iā€™m easily distracted from thingā€™s that Iā€™ve done in my past regardless of why I did those things I have to own my actionsā€¦ I was under this seriously false impression that I only acted that way because of his actions, drugā€™s, alcohol etcā€¦ Thatā€™s simply not trueā€¦ My decision was altered by drugā€™s and alcohol but I made those mistakes on my ownā€¦ Might not have happened if he wasnā€™t around but it was still meā€¦ You donā€™t heal yourself by hurting otherā€™sā€¦ Heā€™s still my hero but Iā€™m not gonna go in that shed with him and the WTā€¦ Iā€™m glad he has enough respect for me to go out thereā€¦ That is progressā€¦ :blush:

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This gives me hope! Hope to cope and deal with the shame of some of my actions and things I have said. To own it and make amends ā€¦ sending good vibes to you and your family!

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Wowā€¦ Thank you so much for making my day!!! :blush:Without hope where is the will to surviveā€¦ Iā€™m a huge fan of hope, faith, joy, peace and loveā€¦ With love being firstā€¦ It certainly beats the the flip sideā€¦ The more effort I give in doing right and owning my actions the more positive life is becoming for meā€¦ Hang in there @Puppylove it gets better every single day we that we are soberā€¦ :100: