My husband is not the monster that I thought that he wasā¦ I was broken long before we ever metā¦ He is a human being with his OWN set of struggles and strengthsā¦ Man, oh man is he ever a strong man!!!
Really GLAD that I didnāt do anything insanely stupid (like actually die, move out or get a divorce because I didnāt know how to cope) in the middle of me trying to get sober and further destroy our familyā¦ That wouldnāt have gotten me very far because I would have never owned my issueās!!! Thatās a fact for meā¦
The more sober time Iām gathering on this journey the better the world is looking to ME by just ME fixing MEā¦
Iām gonna spend more time in giving back to those who never gave up on meā¦
So THANKFUL to finally be seeing this!!!
My husband is my hero!!! He has spent the last 679 dayās of his life trying to help me in any way that he knows howā¦ We can both be @ssholes at timeāsā¦
This alcohol battle might be one that I have to face alone to some extent but Iām ok with that!!! Thank you so much TS for being here for me and my family!!!
It sure isā¦ I know there are gonna be timeās when Iām feeling really down and it might seem like Iām being tested or pushed out but itās gonna happen when trying to improve myselfā¦ We all got issueāsā¦ That alcohol is some dangerous stuff for someā¦ So glad I came here and learned what I needed to do and what I need to continue to work onā¦ Which is break the bad habitsā¦
I hear you! A million times when I was drinking I wanted out of our marriage. I thought my husband was such a dick. Surprise!! It was (mostly) me being a dick!! It is laughable now, but man, he put up with a lot.
Glad you are working on your stuff and marriage and appreciating who he is and who you are. Life can be much simpler without the chaos of drinking.
You got that right Sassyā¦ I even almost knew these thingās and still thought that a couple drinks would be ok for me a couple times since I joined here back last fallā¦ Well that turned into a backout, dayās sleeping, bad dreams, mind tricks, along with all the other ugly before I realized I had to stop thisā¦ Every time I drank it set me back this far in realizing the truthā¦ Iām an Alcoholicā¦ I canāt never drink againā¦ I just made it 40 dayās to the best days of my life because my worst day sober is better than my best days drunkā¦
Husband thinks Iām a little crazy with this discovering me stuff but I know itās because I was always mentally altered in one way or another and it might seem a little weird to himā¦ Iām learning/relearning me tooā¦ Iām not gonna let that drive me to drinking today like I have beforeā¦ He said to me that he might have me committed if I donāt stop acting so weird, not sure how serious he wasā¦ My response to him that day was āGood, maybe they can help me figure this out, I gotta problemā¦ā That was 40 dayās ago and ongoingā¦ I was willing to goā¦ Iām making progress and getting betterā¦ They wonāt hold me there unless they have a reason toā¦ Iām not gonna fear thatā¦
Things certainly seem more black and white and desperate when drinking. I donāt think of my husband as a hero, but when sober can appreciate he was doing what he thought was best in relation to my drinking. Outside of drinking, sobriety is helping me understand and deal with his flaws and my own flaws in a more constructive way than āfuck youā and āIām fuckedā, which was respectively how I dealt with the problems drunk.
Absolutely get what you are sayingā¦ That kind of changed my perception right back to equal struggling human again real fastā¦ Today when he called me crazy again right after I made this post LOL but Iām not gonna let it get me downā¦ I know betterā¦ Iām gonna keep on keeping with no love lossā¦
Iām gonna let him rest and work on my spring/summer inventory because I know good and well the hotter it gets the stupider I get already in advance from many other seasons pastā¦
Your story is really inspiring for many people. I believe im in a similar situation with my spouse but sometimes I fail to see all her qualities like you mentioned and just focus on the negatives. I think its the addiction trying to sabotage things so I end up alone and free to embrace addiction again.Shes a super hero to help me for all these years and never abandon me when i was an asshole many times.
Thank youā¦ In all honesty I think I may get sudden bursts of excitement thinking Iām actually learning something about myself to save myselfā¦ In doing this I have to look past the actions of otherās and only look at meā¦ My hearts in the right place for sure but I know that Iām easily distracted from thingās that Iāve done in my past regardless of why I did those things I have to own my actionsā¦ I was under this seriously false impression that I only acted that way because of his actions, drugās, alcohol etcā¦ Thatās simply not trueā¦ My decision was altered by drugās and alcohol but I made those mistakes on my ownā¦ Might not have happened if he wasnāt around but it was still meā¦ You donāt heal yourself by hurting otherāsā¦ Heās still my hero but Iām not gonna go in that shed with him and the WTā¦ Iām glad he has enough respect for me to go out thereā¦ That is progressā¦
This gives me hope! Hope to cope and deal with the shame of some of my actions and things I have said. To own it and make amends ā¦ sending good vibes to you and your family!
Wowā¦ Thank you so much for making my day!!! Without hope where is the will to surviveā¦ Iām a huge fan of hope, faith, joy, peace and loveā¦ With love being firstā¦ It certainly beats the the flip sideā¦ The more effort I give in doing right and owning my actions the more positive life is becoming for meā¦ Hang in there @Puppylove it gets better every single day we that we are soberā¦
that I thought that he wasā¦ I was broken long before we ever metā¦ He is a human being with his OWN set of struggles and strengthsā¦ Man, oh man is he ever a strong man!!! 
who never gave up on meā¦ 
Iām making progress and getting betterā¦ 
āsā¦ LOL 
And it never gets old.