So, I’ve been seeing an amazing D and A Counsellor this past year after seeing many, (not all of them were so great.) I feel very fortunate because I’ve learnt so much about myself,answers I have been looking for,for so long. I wanted to understand the main reasons behind what started my addiction in hope that this would then give the opportunity to address the issue and work on healing…
I’ve never been completely sure about the theory that people become addicts because of childhood trauma. I guess there are a lot of reasons anyway but yes,it seems, childhood trauma did i at least indirectly contribute because that what lead me to feel deeply depressed . There were a lot of other reasons that I was made to feel unworthy and unlovable as a child too but I don’t need to go in to that, except , to say that it also seems relevant now after I saw something recently,someone was saying, that people who become addicts are uncomfortable in their own skin. That really hit home because I had just recently started to notice that about myself. I often feel so uncomfortable and or threatened…I’m not saying this is definitely correct for everyone though. But for me, I think this is significant. Now it’s about working out how to feel comfortable with who I am, which doesn’t occur often enough and I know for certain being and staying an active addict will definitely NOT help with this process.
Alcohol will continue to bring more shame and more pain until it kills me if I let it…
Thanks Zoley for sharing this as you helped me realize a bit more about myself, I feel.
One of the reasons I like being sober is that I know not a lot of people stay sober once they become an alcoholic/addict. I’ve had lots of times in my life where I felt I came up short or was seen as not the best at certain things. I’m not using my sobriety to feed my ego but I’m proud knowing and showing the people who are part of my life that this marathon can be accomplished. Bit by bit, day by day.
This drunk is definitely comfortable with who he is and simply works at thinking of himself less, instead of thinking less of himself. Hugs & thanks again!
Awesome insight and share. Keep putting in the work
Sounds like you are finding some insight and that is shining lights for you, to learn more about yourself and to see directions you could go next. That’s good news! It is hard to process at times but it is good news.
Don’t give up. You can do it.