So today Is the first time in a week where I woke up without a fuzzy head… idk if it’s because I keep ranting on here about my days or what but I actually slept and woke up feeling somewhat normal. So I’m writing a checklist of all the things that are going well for me instead of focusing on the bad.
I have a well paying job
I’m married to someone who really cares about me
I get to work with my mom
I still have a pretty decent appetite
I’m not gaining or losing any weight rapidly
I havnt had a headache in a few days
I’ve been saving money towards a house
I’m putting a good dent in my debt
I do actually have friends but they are all over 70 yrs old at the nursing home lol
I enjoy helping the elderly
I’m going to school to get a CDL liscense
My two cats are in good health
Hopefully I can look back at this when I’m having a panic attack and just breathe
Very nice! You could always join us on the daily gratitude list It’s been really helpful to me to share and read what others are grateful for. Glad to hear you’re feeling a bit better today!
Good for you Steve. It’s a process but it is worth it. It’s like health: just going for a walk every day, and making sure there’s some vegetables in your diet, and after a few days - and more and more as time passes - you feel healthy. It’s not magic; it’s just balance. It’s “living life on life’s terms”.
I’m happy for you brother. Keep feeling, keep sharing, keep connecting. Connection is crucial for recovery. You’re a good man and you deserve a safe, sober life where you can be your full self.
Looking back on this hurts a bit lol lost all my savings for a house, never got my CDL, and my debt has skyrocketed. Lol
Things that are going OK today
i slept for over 8 hours last night and didnt wake up to an immediate panic attack
i only had to take .5 klonopin today instead of the 1mg ive been taking the last several days
i ate 3 full meals and they were HEALTHY!
I quit my shitty, dangerous job and am back to doordashing with my wife after she gets off work (she likes the talks we been having)
i talk to my mom everyday
i only told one little fib today, as to not upset mother
( i was going to go to an interview for a cannabis grower position but i dont think thats a good idea anymore so i skipped it and told her they didnt want to hire me )
You found a good forum for sure. Lots of different people with different ways of staying sober from all kinds of addictions as im sure you will see.
Myself, im an alcoholic who stopped drinking but continued to substitute other bad habits. Im trying to break free from the substitutes now and this forum Always seems to get me in a better headspace. Never feel judged or looked down on because of the things ive said or done. Anyways, keep coming back and if you ever wanna chat just hmu.
Hey @Steve92 glad to see you back and trying to quit the weed. It’s a shit thing and you don’t need it, especially if you’re dealing w panic already. I’m big on the anxiety as well. I know it can be consuming. Stick w us here and stick w yourself! Love this journal style thread. Hope to see a lot of you on here!
Hey thanks. Just sitting in a parking lot at 430am with my doordash turned on not getting any orders. Scrolling through TS instead of other bad shit I could easily be doing lol im gonna do my best to stick around as much as possible
Im probobly just gonna stay up at this point. I gotta dr appointment im kinda terrified about tomorrow. So i apologize for babbling all over the forum tonight lol
Well i feel my doctor appointment effing SUCKED. 11am appointment, didnt get to see dr til 1145. Whole tome shes looking at her watch like shes about to miss lunch. Brought up my health concerns and anxiety issues and she checks my blood pressure and heart rate, refers me to a psychiatrist thats not available for another month and said shes not gonna do a wellness check or physical until i see the psychiatrist. She did refill my prescription for a WEEK but i cant see psychiatrist til jan 11th. Goddamnit, i thought i would feel better after speaking to a doctor but nope. Now im just pissed off. The alcoholic in me needs instant gratification which i certainly didnt receive today.
It’s been really helpful to me to share and read what others are grateful for. Glad to hear you’re feeling a bit better today!
less than 3 days since my last drink but I am super motivated to stop for good so I decided to download the app