What kinds of activities do you guys engage in with friends whom you formerly drank with? I’m finding it hard to hang out with friends without being tempted to drink. Being only age 22 most of my friends still enjoy going out on the weekends and it is becoming increasingly hard to say no to alcohol. I end up drinking just one and then that leads to be engaging in an entire drunken night I’ve been trying to avoid. I don’t want to feel totally isolated but I also want to stay sober.
Gosh… these days I’m highly in tune with just how much alcohol influences and controls relationship dynamics. I think I’m personally going to enforce a rule that for every three times I hang out with my drinking friends around alcohol they have to hang around me ONCE sober. Seriously, after the past 6 weeks or so I’m beginning to question just what foundation most of my friendships have been built upon (drinking) and wether or not they need to be renovated.
Lol. Sorry, I know that doesn’t answer your question but that’s been weighing heavy on me too
ALL of my friends are drinking friends lol, that being said. My best friends will hang out with me sober, the people I really connected with regardless of alcohol. Before I had a drinking problem. The ones who I started hanging out with just because I was drinking it’s harder because all they do when they get together is drink still. I can be around alcohol and not drink but it’s not like a preference, because It’s not really the same if you aren’t drinking. Now it’s different because the new people I meet know I don’t drink. There are a million fun things to do sober, more things are fun sober than drinking I remember hanging out with friends doing sober stuff and that should of been done sober like going to movies and not even remembering what happened in said movie, so it’s a much better experience now, just being able to enjoy life for what it is instead of living in a constant blur.
I have but because it is a recent development I don’t really think my friends take it all that seriously.
I don’t hang out with drinking “friends” (people from the bar, etc) Our so-called and loosely used friendship was based only on drinking. I cut those ties for my sobriety. As for true friends that have been around all along…we go for coffee and talk, have dinner together, go bowling or some activity, hit up new food trucks and walk. These people aren’t heavy drinkers and don’t feel the need to drink.
Yep. That’s how I feel the reaction will be if I tell my drinking friends/drinking relatives. They’ll either think I’m full of shit or be really supportive. Am I willing to take that risk yet? Nope. I need more time.
I have to hang out with drinking friends this Sun. and I’m just going to act like it’s a diet thing and volunteer to be the DD. I guess that isn’t really helpful as far as things to do. You can still “drink” with friends, just drink a non-alcoholic beverage. I would suggest things that are more active, and not necessarily just sitting around talking/drinking. That’s where I would get in trouble. Certain activities no longer sound appealing when you can no longer drink doing them.
It’s really hard. Since I stopped drinking, I do lunches with friends, coffees, walk to parks, ice skate, and dinners. And I also do a lot of things alone now, like running, going to the theater, movies, etc. and it doesn’t feel bad, it feels liberated. I don’t hang in bars anymore. That was hard to give up. I used to love, love, love bars. When I wasn’t in the bar, I was wondering what was going on there without me. As if some amazing magical event was taking place. The reality all too often was that I was incoherent, making bad choices and embarrassing myself. Now that I’m sober, watching my friends get trashed while I drink seltzer is just not that fun. Though it’s eye opening to see what I used to think was hysterical in my drunken haze. I also learned that I had real friends and drinking buddies. The drinking buddies didn’t last because they really want everyone to drink with them. There’s an amazing amount of peer pressure involved with drinking. It’s almost comical. I wish I had the wisdom to stop drinking when I was your age. I let that party go on way, way too long. Stay focused on what you want to achieve.
If you are relapsing when hanging out with them, it reflects you, not them.
When I wasn’t serious about kicking the libations, I would go out and get more fucked up than if I had just gone out knowing I was going to drink.
Now when I go out, I can be around all my drunk friends and be completely content: it’s a mindset, thus, if you aren’t content in various circumstances, work on yourself (similar to @Oliverjava’s recommendation).
If you master yourself, you can be put in any situation, have a great time, and remain sober…shit I ended up at a NYE celebration where the point of being there was to get obliterated and I had a great time sober.
You’re 22, don’t start hindering what you’re able to do because of the presence of alcohol…unless of course you’re ready to be the crazy cat lady at 25
Recommendations for activities which may be needed to upkeep relationships while you’re working on yourself: hiking, biking, surfing, building shit (rock structures, forts, tables, etc.), walking, people watching, yoga, movies, working out, etc…
Funny thing is, I did all of that stuff wasted…so you may still deal with your friends bringing a few brews…but at least the activity isn’t centered solely around alcohol. Good luck dude…btw, was your picture taken at Coachella?
@Success lol, “crazy cat lady at 25.”
Lmao. That cat is planning it’s great escape!
Thanks for the reply.. no not Coachella it was taken at an outdoor festival in Roanoke,VA.
Well Im not sure what your interests are but Ill list things I enjoy
-hiking
-walking outdoors
-going to barnes and noble to read and make notes on future adventures
-working out
-shooting range
- movies
-museums/art gallerys
-poetry readings
-painting
-cool group things like escape rooms
-try out new coffee shops
-5k runs
Some stuff I really enjoy doing by myself.Other things you can totally invite friends to do with you.
In all honesty if I have invited friends to do things like on my list and every time they shoot it down and only really want to drink then they become very boring to me.Drinking is not my go-to anymore.