I have tried to stop drinking many times. The only thing that has ever got me to confidently stop was when I got pregnant. I stopped immediately with no problem. But two years later it has became an issue for me. I think about drinking every day by 11AM. Then overthink about it through out the day. Does it ever get easier?
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It does get easier but you have to quit drinking for that. I named that voice in my head the Winewitch after a while. It’s one of the many reasons why I’ve quit drinking. I wanted my head back, my peace of mind. Her voice became less after a few months of sobriaty. Now I have years of sobriaty I seldom hear her.
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Thank you for the reassurance. I picture the voice as a type of demon. I’ve had a hard life and I’ve been coping with alcohol since I was 15. I’m now in my early 30s. I just want my head and peace back to myself as well without the intrusive thoughts. I try to think of other things as soon as I think about drinking but as soon as I’m done thinking about my new topic, the thought of drinking pops back up. It’s insane really!
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Yes, it’s a merry go round. Glad I left it behind me. I quit 7 years ago. When I read stories like yours it all comes back to me. I also quit drinking every time I was pregnant, but started again afterwards. But one day I had enough of it. Enough of that voice in my head, the lying to my partner, the secret drinking, the hiding of empty bottles, changing stores because I’m afraid to be noticed as a lady who drinks to much, the hangover and black outs, etc. It was enough. So I decided to put all the effort into sobriaty instead of drinking. A life savior.
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Your story sounds very similar to mine. I recently moved to a VERY small town with one store with like 5 workers and I feel so small going in to buy beer then more beer. The voice has seemed to be winning more since we moved but I hate it. Makes me feel crazy. That’s why I started looking for an app to help me find people who understand. I feel like I can’t kick this battle by myself and am too ashamed to inconvenience my loved ones.
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Opening up to others isn’t easy, I know. In the beginning only my partner knew but not how realy bad it was. Also my children knew a bit, but where to small to fully understand. Now I have more sober time my inner circle knows I have an alcohol problem because I told them so. I’m proud of what I achieved. It’s the hardest thing I ever did. Even harder then delivering my 3 babies. For me opening up to others was also important for my healing process. Addiction florish by secrets. And nobody from the people I love offers me a drink anymore because they know 
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My son is only two so he has no idea. I don’t want him to grow up seeing me drink daily. It was way too easy of a habit to form for me because everyone in my family drinks. But my husband doesn’t even touch alcohol and neither does his sister or older brother so it’s nice to have at least one non-drinking side. I really struggled today but I made it!
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Hello @SoberMomma93, welcome to this awesome community, and congratulations on making it through Day 1 
I’m 4 years sober now, and I know how much I needed a community and people who truly understood the struggle of kicking the habit. It definitely gets easier!
These days, I rarely think about alcohol. Whenever cravings hit, I came to this platform to read and share. Daily gratitude and the daily check in every day helped me a lot, maybe that’s something to keep your mind occupied as well?
Looking forward to see you around.
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Well done! 
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Hi @SoberMomma93 welcome and congratulations! 
All I can say is it does get easier the further away from that day 1 you get.
Like you, alcohol started at 15 for me and was a daily thought through to 56. I’d quit many times but only for set specific focuses, then right back as quick as I left. I didn’t think the intrusive thoughts would ever leave me, especially after 40+ years of abusing it.
I’m happy to say coming up on two years, that voice does subside. It gets quieter and quieter (well did for me). That said, I am unsure it ever truly goes away which is why we have to always be diligent. There is no moderation.
I wish you all the best on your sober journey, but rest assured the thoughts do diminish a little more each day.
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You are in the right place to start. I also have an 18 month old and I did the exact same thing. I have been in the same cyle for years! My sobriety is for myself. I think I had to realize that and somehow that made it easier. I made up my mind to get sober in October. I went back and forth drinking then not drinking for the last few months. I was so tired all of the time but that never stopped me from drinking. I started AA meetings online. They actually helped a lot. I never thought that sort of thing would work for me but I was desperate. Between that and this app I feel hopeful. It is hard for me to do in person meetings with my baby so the online has been great for me. Stay strong!
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It will, but it requires effort. Things only improved when I put the drink down, then put in the work. Meetings, rehab, therapy, meds, sober living are all steps I took to get, and stay, sober. Sobriety is a full time commitment.
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Thank you for your response! Everyone reassuring me it will get easier and they have been through the same is really helping me realize how common this intrusive thoughts are. I really felt like I was losing my mind! But now I know it’s the addiction and is normal. I will continue to fight this. Congratulations on your two years! That’s a huge accomplishment
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Having a child watching your every move really adds to the anxiety and guilt of drinking! My son turned two in September. My sister and her new boyfriend came up the day before his party. I was so nervous to see her that my mom and I drank a lot before they got to my house. I really embarrassed myself in front of everyone. I’m not a mean drunk. I’m more of a fall down, stumble around, space cadet, type of drunk. I woke up the next morning with 100 things to do to prepare for the party and I was puking, shaking with anxiety and shame, my husband was pissed at me, I was pissed at myself. The birthday party turned out amazing but I am so ashamed of how I coped with being nervous about seeing my sister and her new boyfriend (they live 6 hours away). It’s in the past now. I have sincerely apologized to everyone and am now forgiving myself but will never forget. I’m done embarrassing myself. That girl is being left in the pass and a new woman is being born.
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Welcome to the community! I am happy you found us.
We all know the struggle . Quitting the drug of choice is hard. We are stronger together, please always come here and share what is on your mind before picking up that „just one“ drink. We are here for you!
I also named my addictions and I am happy that their voices are becoming quieter and quieter. You’re worth fighting for your sobriety 
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All great stuff….and there is something called CBT, or cognitive thought therapy, where if you change a thought, it will change an action, which changes a result.
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