Third attempt

[BooshBaby]

Hello All

It was two years ago I admitted to my partner that I felt my binge drinking is a real problem. I am not dependent on alcohol for everyday use, but I do abuse myself with alcohol by binge drinking to the point of being blackout drunk. It has had a very negative impact on my mental well-being for as long as I can remember, yet I can’t seem to stop myself.

My reason for admitting two years ago is because I woke up after a heavy binge drinking session to find myself lying next to some real hardcore looking vomit at the top of my stairs, my cat desperately trying to wake me up, and no sign of my engagement ring (I did later find it but there was a period of intense fear). I managed a sober January following this, but by the end of Jan I had ‘forgotten’ how bad booze was for me and convinced myself upcoming social occasions would require me to start drinking again. That was my first very feeble attempt at sobriety.

In July this year, I managed a three month spree of sobriety after deciding I could not possibly put up with another day of ‘the fear’. I felt so much better for it. My head was so much clearer, I started a new job with a fresh mindset, and I felt like a better partner and friend for it. Then I decided I’d had a long enough break and I was certain I could manage booze again without abusing it. This was, obviously, not the case.

I started off ok with pacing myself, but this past month I’ve found myself black-out drunk on a number of occasions. For a very scary moment this weekend I thought my drinking had destroyed my marriage. Luckily this was not the case but the fear of putting myself in that position again has led to what I’m hoping will be my third and most successful attempt.

I simply do not want to feel like I’m doing this alone anymore, which is why I’m here. I have some truly lovely friends and family but they do not seem to view my binge drinking as a problem, they find me funny and endearing when I’m drunk and shrug off any times I may have been a liability, saying “we’ve all been there”. They are trying to be non-judgemental, which I appreciate but it isn’t helpful as it allows me to justify my behaviour more.

I’m here, I’m scared about the future, but I’m here and I’m as commited as I’ve ever been to putting an end to bad habits.

Thanks for reading if you’re here

[SassyRocks]

@BooshBaby

I have some truly lovely friends and family but they do not seem to view my binge drinking as a problem, they find me funny and endearing when I’m drunk and shrug off any times I may have been a liability, saying “we’ve all been there”. They are trying to be non-judgemental, which I appreciate but it isn’t helpful as it allows me to justify my behaviour more.

Oh man, I hear you!! I think it helps them feel okay about their drinking as well. We all seem to normalize being an idiot or worse and hangovers and all the crap that comes with the drinking life.

We don’t have to be drinking every day to have a debilitating relationship with alcohol.

I know I don’t want to wake up feeling like that ever again. Why do people accept that this is ‘just how it is?’ Because it isn’t. There is a big beautiful healthy healing world available to us without alcohol.

So glad you are here and not falling for that BS sold to us by alcohol companies and society anymore. Let’s live our best life…healthy and free from alcohol!!

[Flower]

Welcome, I’m sure many of us can relate to your drinking. This place has been a big part of my recovery. I can relate to the next day ‘fear’ and man, I sure don’t miss that. I wish you the best

[Ravikamor]

Hi and welcome! Many, if not all, of us have been where you are at. It is a bit scary at first. But trust me, it will be so worth it. I too thought many of these things in past relapses. But those are now reminders for me when I think about the temptation. I can’t moderate…I tried it. It didn’t work nor will it. I told myself I deserved to drink because I earned it with abstaining. When that voice comes in my head, I laugh it off. I deserve to be sober. I could go on and on. I always say, for some of us, rock bottom is simply running out of excuses. Big hug! I’m glad you’re here!

[TigerMatriarch]

Welcome! Sometimes those around us simply can’t see that we have a problem and there are various reasons for this. I am an alcoholic and I know it but I have family and friends that will argue, justify and minimize my problem with sincerity. I know my truth and you do too. You are in the right place to face that truth and start down a new road, a better sober road. You won’t be alone here in this community.