I am struggling to find the strength to stay sober for any length of time. First time I was just over 8 months before I relapsed, this time I was almost 6 months. I now have another 10 days behind me after starting over and I often question myself like why??? Doubting my self worth I guess, subconsciously thinking I am not worth full sobriety as much as I want it, but this has to be the time I get it right…once and for all!!!
I’m back to day one too. I think it’s because after a while being sober, I tell myself I was being overdramatic by quitting drink completely. Why can’t I have odd drink when socialising? You’re not an alcoholic. I still struggle with that. I also won’t socialise without a drink due to anxiety. You’ve gone decent lengths of time sober by sounds of it so don’t beat yourself up and just go again.
Thank you, and it is hard when trying to socialize when others are drinking and you know you just can’t. I find that going to AA helps. But it’s my alone downtime that gets me the most. My mind tends to wander.
If it makes you feel any better, the third time was really the charm for me. Well, I hope so. I’m at just over 9 months and it is definitly the furthest I’ve gone before and I have zero regrets right now (no feeling sad that I can’t have any alcohol anymore).
FOR ME…I think the reality was that I just wasn’t ready before. I knew I NEEDED to quit drinking but deep down I just didn’t want to do it yet. As they say “I still had some drinking to do”. When I quit this last time it wasn’t even that it had gotten so bad yet (or at least, I wasn’t at my worst) but I just had finally reached a point that I just couldn’t do it anymore…I didn’t WANT to do it anymore. That seemed to be the big difference. I realized that I wanted to go to therapy and to AA whereas before I made every excuse not to do it.
YOU CAN DO IT!!
I had to make some big uncomfortable life changes to reap the big long-term sobriety rewards- any thoughts on what that might look like for you?
That’s an interesting question. I think my answer might have been very different in the beginning than what it is today. Honestly, I don’t see that there has been a lot of major changes. The things I’ve let go of I now realize were never good for me anyway. But probably the biggest life change I had to make was to stop trying to get people to like me. It was neverending frustration because I was always trying to convince people that I was worthy of being heard. I give up. I know I’m worthy. If they don’t see it, well that is THEIR issue, not mine. I have sooooo much more peace because of it. My next step is to learn to let the little things go. I can’t let my husband eating his bagel at the kitchen counter while I’m trying to pack lunches for the day RUIN my day. It really is just so not worth it. But in the past those things would piss me off so bad that before I left for work I would take a quick shot of rye before getting into the car!!
I can so relate hang in there!
Anytime is a charm keep at it friend
Thank you so much for your support
I get that, and I really do want to quit once and for all…I can’t continue to keep living like this
Third time is a charm… Congrats on the 10 days… Maintain focus. You know what it takes… You got this!
For me, historically, the interval between 6 and 9 months of sobriety was an extremely challenging time.
Complacency and overconfidence played a big role in my failure to get past the 9 month mark. Stopped incorporating the daily life changing behaviors that kept me sane in the beginning. Coasting along, and BAM! I’m unprepared when the next moment of unclarity hits me.
Thank you, and I think I am determined now more than ever
I hear that loud and clear. I thought I had things under control to the point I stopped going to meetings and once my mind got squirrelly I went back out. But I know think I have more tools than before to be able to maintain or at least reach out more than I had before. Always has been hard for me to ask for help
This is my 3rd time as well. Im only at day 2 and boy is it going ruff. Im definitely praying third times the charm.
2 days in itself is a milestone. I have to attend AA a few times a week …keep me emotionally balanced and the support you get there is unreal. I am always here if you want to talk