I quit drinking 71 days ago. I hit rock bottom drinking every night. We (my wife and I) were spending $140 a week on whiskey and beer. Drinking was how I coped with not knowing if I had a child by a young woman I knew before I married my wife. She had gotten pregnant, told me she had an abortion, then we never really spoke again. I looked her up on Facebook and she had a daughter that age. I was off social media for a year trying to decide whether or not to contact her. I did and she assured me she was someone else’s and she wished things were different, I was the one who got away, that her life wasn’t that great. I assured her we both ended up exactly where we were meant to be. When I told my wife she thought I cheated, wanted a divorce and we couldn’t seem to have a drink without a fight. So I quit. And she quit with me. I’m finally happy knowing I don’t have a child I don’t know about, and I’m no longer fighting about it with my wife. So anyway we have saved over $1400 so far and that seems to be my main motivation since all the drama.
Welcome. I’m glad you found your way here and hope you will stay.
Sounds like you are well on your way to getting a handle on life. Sobriety is a solid help in stabilizing a marriage that’s hit a rough patch. This I know from experience. Funny thing is, I can’t remember us having a rough patch since I quit drinking…
Thanks, that means a lot.
I’m an omega male, so cravings and social settings haven’t been a problem. Hitting rock bottom took over 25 years of heavy drinking for me.
Alcohol lost its luster when I realized I had turned into a version of my father I never wished to embody. He failed 2 marriages and my brothers and I were nothing but side notes to his alcolism, depression and narcissistic rage. Left to my own devices I had almost accomplished the same thing. Living life crying over a whiskey glass, a pint and a pitcher is no way to live life. I have a Beautiful wife and 2 beautiful children. It’s time I start acting like it and be there for them like my father never was for me.
Wow what a story
Its story’s i hear from alcoholics that keep me sober. They remind me that im not alone and where i could wind up.
And now that i think of it, it also reminds me to pay attention to other alcoholics who are recovering because I can hear all i want but I must listen to get the point
Thank you for your shere
I don’t much buy into the whole Sigma, Alpha, Beta, Omega labels slapped on men by others, or themselves. I choose two categories: Authentic and imitation. An authentic man does his level best every day for those who depend on him. The imitation man looks to his own needs first, and gives his family what’s left over.
During the terminal phase of my drinking career, I grabbed a bottle and crawled inside myself. I had become an imitation of who I once was. Now I can hug my wife and daughter without any shame. They know they are the most important people in my life.
Keep getting better at getting better!
Thanks for listening.
It’s weird looking back, even before my ex’s abortion, my life was a circus, a shitshow for sure. And although dramatic, it seemed as though that was life, ‘sei la vie’. I knew no better as a child I shouldn’t be allowed by my dad to smoke cigarettes at 7, drink cans of beer at 9, and be handed joints at 13. Shortly after I was taught by a friend’s dad and some tweakers the fine art of boosting. He’s dead now, my old friend that is. By high school I was so high everyday, not just weed but experimenting with coke crank lsd mushrooms and basically anything else I could get my hood rat hands on, it’s a wonder I managed to graduate with a half credit over. It’s a war story. Plain and simple. And I only tell it to avoid someone else my mistakes. Life’s never been easy. And that’s no tall tale. All that wrecklessness and life wasted, for a life of getting wasted, I wish there was a reset button. But we aren’t afforded that luxury… anyway I wouldn’t be the man I am now, with the beautiful wife I have, and the knowledge that it could have turned out so much worse for me. I’m a lucky man to have lived through to even see today. And I feel blessed for making it this far in life. It’s amazing the clarity that sets in during sobriety when you start seeing things for what they are.
Anyway, I hope you have a good day!
You’re absolutely right. Recovery… where do I start? Well I’m 70 days in and all I can say is I have accepted step 1, 2, and 3. This is me doing steps 4 and 5… I’ve made an account and ive told it a time or two. Step 6 is tough. And I suppose im a little stuck getting to 7 because I grew up a screw up and its all I know, asking god to remove my flaws, well I have a lot. And as far as a full ‘recovery’… I’m not sure after all I’ve been through I can. I’m old enough to know I’m damaged goods, I’ve got ptsd from all the trauma I’ve been through. All I can expect to do is continue to survive. So somewhere stuck between steps 6 and 7 to be honest.
How about you?
[Removed by @System]
Health is also a focus of mine. I felt I was definitely going to relapse if I didn’t have something else to do with the time between getting off work and dinner. So 2 weeks in I bought a dip station and started doing calisthenics. This has actually become the core of my recovery. That and packing a healthy lunch. I even lost 15 lbs.
As much as I prioritize sleep, designating 8 hours, I still seem to be tossing and turning. I read when you quit drinking it can take up to 6 months to get back to normal sleep patterns, although it may be arthritis in my lower back keeping me awake not my fever dreams lol, getting old is fun
Way to go on quiting. I bey saving all that money feels good!!
YES! It was like a nice side effect, something I didn’t even realize, because my wife was doing the shopping, I had no idea we were spending that much! Sad thing is it wasn’t $140 a week at the bar. That would almost be modest for me. That’s grocery store prices. I was drinking a liter and a half of whiskey a week and my wife was drinking two or three 12 packs of seltzer beers every week.
We decided to save $100 a week, which is nice to realize, we actually CAN afford a vacation if we just keep it up!
As it seemed money was a reoccurring issue of argument with my wife, it was nice that went away when our savings rebounded. I also decided I would work weekends to catch us up even more.
I started drinking and drugging at age 13
I had no clue what I was starting
I thought I could do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted
If I could change my teenhood I would but I can’t. But i can work on my future.
Today I’m 146 days clean and sober
So many things happened that were both good and bad during this sober streak but all of them are important and I refuse to give up this streak because I think it was the start of a very important time of my life
I used to wear it like a badge of honor. N o shame , but there’s no pride to be had in it. I was a hood rat. I’m lucky I made it out of the slums. A lot of people I know didnt.
I also was a hoodrat but I did it to fit in even though I knew no1 liked me including my so called friends at the time
All I know is that the worst times I’ve had in life I was picking up drugs and alcohol
I still have urges but I have found it does get better and even a bit easier not to pick up
Its always been a wonder to me that I ust to think using and everything that comes with it was acceptable. Never will I put myself, again, through the hell that comes with picking up
I would go 1 day, 3 days, a week with nothing then pick up again. It was making my life harder and I know that now.