I keep having to reset because people are drinking around me and I feel like they expect me to drink. It’s getting to the point where I just don’t wanna keep living anymore. I did a nice thing by letting a friend stay with me until his apartment gets ready, but he is drinking every night and so I’ve been sick every day for the past 5 days.
I just don’t know what to do because I hate being around it and it’s keeping me from skateboarding and now I am so depressed.
I feel hopeless
Worst thing is that I don’t even want to drink but that’s all he wants to do. And he’s going through a divorce so I feel like I have to be there for him
I know it feels tough but in my experience I had to put myself first because being around anything or anyone can trigger me to pick up and realizing that I had to readjust my movements. I’m 3 days in now… you got this
Im sorry that ur going thru a hard time :(. Sounds like u were really being kind to let ur friend stay with u but truly you dont HAVE to do anything. You dont have to drink. In fact u can ask the friend that is staying with u to respect u and ur home by not drinking as u are trying to quit. It was crucially important for me to take full responsibility for my drug use. I used to blame other people or situations for why i used drugs or drank. No one can make me use or drink and no one can make me feel anything. I choose what to put into my body and I choose how i want to feel. So when i read ur post it reminded me that taking full responsibility for my own actions was truly so important for recovery and maybe that suggestion can help u too :). It also sounds like some boundaries need to be set with those around u. If they cant respect u or ur decision to stop drinking, then maybe there needs to be some distance for abit until they can. Bcuz this sounds quite serious for you when you say that u dont want to keep living anymore. Snd that u feel hopeless. That is an awful place to be in wishing u all the best
Have you told this person or your roommate about your sobriety? Have you set boundaries with them? If they expect you to drink with them they are not your friends…
Let him know how you feel tell him that he can stay if he disnt drink in your flat, if you want to stay sober and he is your friend then im sure he will understand. if not tell him to go .you come first wish you well
Do whatever you need to do to stay sober. If your friends really want to drink, they will find another place or another person to drink with. After a while, some of the friends may fall away, and make room for others that are more aligned with your lifestyle. I know it is incredibly hard! Put yourself first for now.
If it’s another couple of days maybe just ask them to chill down a bit.
If you’re looking at weeks or more then personally I would say they are welcome to stay but please go out for their drinking (i.e. without you) and explain that you are in early stages of soberiety so can’t have booze around. If they get annoyed and leave then it also solves your issue. But I don’t think they will, you are doing them a favour by letting them stay
I’d talk to them and explain if they can’t at least drink somewhere else they gotta go. It feels mean but it’s mean of them to put u in this situation when ur struggling to do better.
Hi Sarah, You matter first and foremost. You are number 1! Your friend needs to respect that you don’t drink and they can’t in your home either. You can do this, you are strong and you know what you want. Follow that, stay positive and say no to anyone and anything that gets in your way. You are worth it!!
I know this may sound harsh, but we often put others before ourselves, it’s human nature, shows you’re a caring person. But to start sobriety, you may need to have to adjust your thinking and maybe even cut out a few people, at least at 1st. Your real friends will stand by you and support you. Everyone here wants you to succeed!!
wishing u all the best