That last statement has me! I’ve seriously run our of fucks and have found new fucks. The new fucks are a million times better than the old fucks!
Seriously man, the initial post is spot on. I’ve never read a milestone post before that I agreed with more. Ever. As you probably know, I’m not in AA, but my list of steps is pretty identical to this. Yes, I still use the steps in my own way.
@Meggers - Thankyou! Not being in AA either, I’m not surprised we have similar lists. Maybe we should collude and create our own fellowship. We’ll it “Motherfuckers Awareness”.
@Marie_Barnett - That’s very kind of you Could be my Million dollar moment!
@DungeonMaster - My spirit animal is a honey badger. I thought that was obvious lol
Way to go! I remember when I was using heroin. I remember telling my now fiance that I didn’t see any problem with it. He, of course, thought that was crazy. He never used drugs. I still went to work, paid my bills, did what I was supposed to be doing… but I was numb to the world. And sick without dope. Worthless, actually. My simple life was pathetic and I was wasting $40/day, every day, and didn’t see a problem with it. I could’ve been traveling, making lasting memories, sharing joyful occasions with loved ones, but I was happy enough with my dope and waiting tables.
Now I’m clean from H since '08 and don’t miss it at all. But, I still take subutex so I’m not all that recovered, but I’m better, and I sometimes do better, I don’t shoot up, and best of all, somehow the Hep C I carelessly contracted cleared itself from my body, so that’s something. Hope you’re doing well this morning!
I get what you are saying I am an asshole and I have been one yesterday to my daughter I was meant to be helping with my twin grandchildren’s home schooling but I can’t because I fucked up can you help me please try and get this right this time thankyou.
If you’re having trouble with not being able to avoid that first drink of the day, I can tell you Antabuse helped me to separate from alcohol for a while. And a structured recovery program, including counseling and AA helped me heal from being an asshole to those I held dear.
Let’s just get it right today. All you have to do is not pick up a drink today. You can do that. We’ll worry about everything else when the time comes, right now, today is all that matters.
If you start feeling stress get to you, or feel anger get to you, take a time out. Find a quite place and just sit (I spent a lot of time alone in the bathroom). Sit until you feel the stress, the anger pass. It will only take a few moments, and you will feel a lot better. Then move on to the next moment.