Even tho I still read a bit here every day I’ve been pretty silent for a while. Tbh I fell off at the beginning of quarantine, March 25th(after only 1 1/2 weeks without meetings, work, school, and the gym). I dont do well without a schedule and am having a hard time making my own. The longest stretch I’ve had since then was 3 days but I ruined that on Monday. Every time I fall is worse than the last. I’ve sprained my ankle. I’m covered in scrapes and bruises. I’ve physically hurt my bf (which was part of the original reason I stopped in November). If I keep this up, I’ll wake up one morning and he wont be here, and I wont know why.
I thought I was going to be fine. I was going on 5 months. I should have started an immediate plan in the beginning of all this. I honestly didnt think it would last this long. And now they’ve canceled school completely for the rest of the year. I havent heard from my job but since we’re a restaurant/banquet club I’m sure we wont be allowed to open for some time. On the bright side of that, NY has upped unemployment so my bf and I are making twice as much per week as we would be if we were working so we’ve both been able to save a great deal of money finally. Hoping to be able to move by the end of the summer.
I was able to keep sober my first 2 months with this app alone before I tried meetings. And even tho they changed my life, I know its possible again. I’ve started reading again. Listening to speaker meetings on YouTube. I downloaded Zoom but havent tried it yet. I just have to stay strong. I know I have it in me. Just feeling a bit defeated. Thanks to all who’ve helped me in the past and are still here and to anyone else who’s read this 
Pick yourself up and get back into it. Probably some lessons to learn here about creating a sober routine for yourself, including some meetings. It’s good you downloaded Zoom - check out some of the online options here: