I was listening to a podcast a few nights ago from an AA show and I heard things that made me think, ‘oh man, that’s me…’ I don’t want to do this dance anymore. I’m tired of looking for escape, or more accurately looking to forget in a bottle or a bag. Im tired of hurting the ones I love the most through lies and deceptions. And im tired of hiding from myself.
What happened to me? When did I become this selfish madness? I didn’t have the greatest childhood, wasn’t shown an overwhelming amount of live or affection, and have had some fairly awful experiences during my adult life. Most recently, 3 years ago my daughter, just after turning 18 got sick and ended up in ICU with a brain infection and spent close to 2 years in a coma. So I looked for escape, couldn’t face my reality and tried to find other ways to cope.
Always thought I could stop whenever, I was in control. What a fool. It’s now 3 years on and I have just lost the love of my life, all because I don’t know how to stop.
So here I am. Finally I have realised that I have a problem. I am committing myself to freedom. I don’t want this anymore.
Hi thanks for sharing,
I hope your ok
Your in the right place for support and encouragement to stop drinking and to stay sober also to be listened to.
Xx
Unfortunately I don’t have any magic catch phrases lol or fix it quick tips but i have good news. You’re probably not the worst person ever and you’re definitely not alone. Addicts and alcoholics are all around us and normally very willing to help. Go to a meeting and find a sponsor, it’ll be a great start to your road to recovery.
Keep your head up, I believe in you. Believe in yourself, if you try hard and remember it really, truly, is just one day at a time, it will get alot easier. Once you have enough time, consider your options with regard to your love life.
Time to get responsibility means you made an important decision and you need to be happy and start loving yourself more! All the best for this journey! You are not alone on this
I made the mistake, to my everlasting horror, of turning to escape via alcohol when my mom was sick and suffering in a wheel chair and eventually died. It was awful but I am eternally sorry that I took that turn towards the devil’s brew.
I am now turning back time and going back to the sober and happier life I had 8 years ago before making the mistake of starting to drink regularly.
I have almost two weeks sober. And you will too before you know it.
Welcome to the community, I am happy you found us. I really love listening to speakers on podcasts, as much as I love listening to shares at meetings. I find it comforting to know there are people who actually get me out there.
I hope you stick around.
I am so sorry for all the pain you’ve endured. I’m happy you’re here working on recovery. Welcome! Maybe I’ll be as brave as you one day to share my story but for now the telling may be a trigger and I’m avoiding that at all costs.
Thank you Tracey. Right now I am not ashamed to say that I am struggling, drinking is the least of my problems it’s the depression that has taken me… that’s when I want to drink and then we all know what happens next…
I’m trying to be positive and strong but it’s more one hour at a time right now, not a day…
I like to take a long walk in nature when the depression gets heavy. The Japanese call it forest bathing. I let nature refresh me and there’s no bourbon in the woods.
