After having many years of drugs abuse I have been clean for almost a year now and really can’t see myself going down that same path. I am very grateful to have almost grown wise and overpowered my addiction with the fear of health scares when I’m older and noticeable damage I have done to my body. However being sober everyday makes me constantly reflect on why I did it. Everyday I question my past choices and sometimes I feel it consumes me and I wish I could go back just a few years with my current mindset. I know there’s nothing that can be done and I’m grateful to still be here to this day but I feel like the regret is something that will get to me all of my life. I know there is no cure but just wanted to write this short bit and put it out there as it makes me feel a little better. Does anyone else struggle with the same issue? Stay positive and strong everyone♥️
Yes, but I participate in AA and other sobriety support meetings that helps me process and deal with all that is ailing you now. Have you tried this or therapy? I’m so happy that you are sober and on the other side of it.
I find it helps to understand my childhood hurts and the inherited trauma and behaviors I have from my family, and literally everyone has these things to one degree or another. Therapy or some other practice of insight can help with that. When you see that these patterns started in childhood with pain, disappointment, etc that you are just trying to cover up with addictive behaviors, you can have more compassion for yourself and understand that you were just doing your best at the time, and the fact that you pulled yourself out of it is amazing. Congratulations, many people never do that!
I haven’t looked into AA at all actually and maybe that’s something that would help seeing other people in a similar position although I’m out of the country a lot I could participate whenever I’m back thanks
That’s very true whenever I think back to when I was severely depressed and had so much hatred for myself and numerous attempts to end it all I have come a long way from back then and I should be proud of that and own it. I hope everything is going well for you
There are meetings online 24/7 available all over the world, you can join whenever and whereever you want.
I’ve been playing the what-if-scenarios a lot until I finally realized that this is not helping to create a better version of me and in this way I don’t learn from it. Analyzing, changing what I’m able to influence and forgiving myself is my path to deal with regrets. Sometimes making amends. Therapy helps me a lot. Good you are sober, you will find your way
I think a lot of us can understand the regret. It is a hard one for sure and I am sorry you are struggling with it.
That said, congratulations on your year of being clean…that is a big deal and I can hear your sense of calm and healing in your post. Such a blessing after so long in the wilderness.
I was actually lying in bed this morning thinking of regret and some of the many mistakes I made over the years. Specifically with my daughter. She is now 42, so you can imagine with 40+ years of parenting while using there is plenty to look back on and regret.
For myself, there have been many stages in my journey of letting go of the past. I have had to forgive myself, which was hard long ago and is easier now. I know I really did the best I could at the time, and yes, sometimes my best was really really bad and detrimental…and that is all I had right then. I have apologized and discussed with my daughter (and others) where appropriate. Written letters I never sent, journaled out some of my pain of regret. Talk therapy helped me over the years understand the why I did what I did and that I am a human, and as a human, we are imperfect and do stuff that is harmful to ourselves and others…and still we are deserving of love and kindness. Especially to ourselves. We are allowed grace. Our poor decisions, horrific decisions or actions do not negate all the other things we do in our lives. We are worthy.
Mindfulness reminds me always that all I have is right now, today. Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow is not promised. I can be my best self today and that is enough.
As with getting sober and clean, I can let go of that which no longer serves me and that is regret. I wholeheartedly acknowledge what I have done and move forward today by living as a healing human…imperfect…trying my best where I am, right now.
Be gentle with your self as you continue to heal. We used for a reason. Fill that hole with self love, forgiveness and respect.
I can’t commend a step program enough for getting rid of all the shit in my basement. There’s a time to process guilt, a time to make a mends for it, and a time to push on. You can put your head on your pillow at night knowing you tried your best and your past does not define your future. Good luck
For me, it helped to own it. Whenever and wherever possible, I talked about my regrets with the people I believe I affected with my behavior. I apologized and shared my plans to do better. Then I try every day as part of my daily work to move on. I work on thinking about regret in a positive light- 1) I am no longer behaving like that so it’s a glimpse of how far I have come and 2) I never want to return to that place so it’s fuel for keeping my face forward whenever I am tempted of start the tired routine of thinking I have everything all under control. Thinking about my regrets in that light makes them helpful tools instead of anchors.
Yes I struggle with feelings of regret and disappointment in areas I’m not even sure how to describe. I regret coping with drugs and alcohol and just drinking so much. My journey has given me an awareness that’s crippling at times. All the relapses and pushing to get to a year makes feel like I’ll never get over this feeling of trying to control my behavior and trying to live freely at the same time. It’s heavy and it feels like a burden I’ll always have because I won’t do drugs and alcohol again but sometimes it feels like it’s the only thing that will take the stress of sobriety away. The stress of feeling like I can’t trust myself. Staying strong with you
Thank you everyone for your replies it may not seem much but it really helps me through these days knowing there are others out there and how supportive we can be of one another. Today has been a good day so far😊