Tipsy Father

Life in Recovery
1

Hello,

Very happy to say that I’ve passed the one year mark. On both sides of my family I have functional alcoholic family members. I’m currently visiting my father, who used to drink to get drunk when I was a teen. It hurt.

Nowadays he rarely gets blackout drunk, but gets tipsy regularly and is oblivious of his obnoxious behavior. Since I’ve been sober, it sucks to see his habits. How he hides his alcohol, how he tries to downplay how much he drinks. Here alone with him, and I can see my own patterns of hiding and downplaying that I must have picked up from him when I was in active addiction.

When I’m back home with my boyfriend and we go to hang out with friends that are drinking, I have no desire to drink and am very content being around drinking people while I am sober.

But being around my Dad when he is tipsy is really triggering. I have been honest about how I feel and how much I enjoy being around him when he’s sober and how stressed I feel when he hides his drinking. But he explains it away. He is very proud of me for getting sober and it feels so hypocritical and disrespectful when he says that but turns around and drinks an entire bottle of wine. I understand that I cant force anyone to get sober. Its really triggering. I want to spend time with him because we rarely see each other, but I don’t know how to behave or what to do when he’s tipsy.

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Way to go on that first year. Proud of you for staying sober around friends and family. You have more strength than myself, I usually excused myself or didn’t put myself in that position when I was at a year of sobriety. Nowadays it’s easier for me to be around people who are consuming still. Perhaps visiting your father earlier in the day would help. Or talking to him on the phone more often. Wish you the best on your journey.

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Reading your post this really stuck out to me, I have a son who is 20 and you made me think if I relapsed this would be me and him and it hurt to just imagine it. But thank you its exactly what I needed to hear, but also sorry you went through this.

Your doing so well, It must be painfull watching your father, when you have experienced the affect from both sides. Being the child hurt by another’s addiction but also the addict, so you know too well the lengths we go to hiding it.
You have come so far congratulations on you year :slightly_smiling_face:

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