Thanks everyone…I’m feeling better just having people who understand, talk with me here. I need to get to a meeting. I just wish I had someone who could go with me. It’s a scary first step, especially with extreme social anxiety.
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I’m the same way as you I got out of treatment march 22nd and I haven’t been to a meeting I’m hoping to soon but I am on smart recovery online which is another tool in my tool belt that I use along with just talking to others that understand
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Thanks for this…if you tried it and it helped, I can too. 
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What is smart recovery? Are there mtgs you can go to online? That could be a first step.
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There might even be meetings locally for you I live in a rural area so I only have the online option. It’s kind of like a forums like this and online meetings with a smart certified mediator kind of counseling the decisions and topics
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There are some mtgs … I live in a small town too. There are many over the border in a state next to mine. I’m thinking of going to them. I’ve always hidden my drinking (mostly at home). I work in healthcare which makes me more shameful of being an alcoholic.
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Don’t feel shameful I did for letting it consume so many years of my life feel proud you’ve started and your sober your looking at options and asking questions that’s miraculous it’s a disease and your brave for tackling this just remember your not alone give yourself positive affirmations for that your great and doing great
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Thank you. 
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Your welcome😊
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You really have given me some good advice. Thanks for helping me to feel less alone. I’m learning the importance of reaching out. It’s ok not to be perfect.
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Take a nap. Read a book. Meditate. Drinking will only make it worse tomorrow. You got this!
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Up around page 85 or so is the discussion on Step 10. Now, that seems like a long way into it, yes. But there is a promise there that I cherish because I could not believe it until it happened for me. “And we have ceased fighting anyone or anything, including alcohol”.
It’s so beautiful when that happens. I pray it does happen for you.
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Others have already given you great advice. I just want to say, it’s so great you reached out and talked about it. You don’t have to do this alone. I wouldn’t be where I am now if it hadn’t been for the support and wisdom of other sober people.
I hear you on it being tiring! I definitely have times where I’m just tired of all the fighting to get better. But it does pass, and result in growth, every time. Growing is tough sometimes! Just keep at it, you can get through.
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Thanks everyone for commenting. I’m so glad I reached out. 25 days today! I’m feeling better and hopeful this morning. Today is a new day.
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25 days is awesome… congratulations!
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Hey lady. I just got to read this thread and wanted to check in and see how you are feeling today. How are things?
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Thanks so much. I’m feeling much better today. I also reached out to an acquaintance who lives near me and told her I quit drinking. She is going to go with me to my first meeting! I’m so excited.
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That’s great news, well done you x
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Stress is the hardest obstacle and when it’s financial/family/self, the walls feel like they are closing in. What helps me is just focusing on today, right now, this exact moment. I can breath, walk, my belly is full (hopefully yours is?), I have a roof. Then I try to get outdoors. A forest a park something green really helps me. Thoughts of strength and love to you through this moment.
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Thanks. It’s been rainy and cold here…but when the weather is good I love being out in nature. I’m doing a lot of deep breathing and self care today