Tired of drinking

I am definitely a binge drinker when I drink I cant stop and everytime I drink bad things happen everytime and make my fiance really upset do to my behavior and I just dont like myself when I am drunk and make bad choices and I will do good for a week then think ok well I have been doing good I can have a couple and somtimes I can have a couple when I am at home but take me out it’s a different story and I it’s just not working for me anymore and just want to be done for good but cant seem to get there just looking for some support. Just want go give my fiance and our 5 year old the best of me cause sober me is amazing! My fiance is amazing and she has been so patient with me and I just need to them my all 100% of the time thank you guys

Amanda

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Amanda, I can relate to you on every level. (Minus the fiancé and 5 kids). “One is too many and a thousand is never enough.” I have struggled with almost daily binge drinking for years. After a bad night, I put control measures and rules in place that I inevitably wind up breaking every time. I have come to face that I can just simply not drink at all. You’re on the right path being here. You can do anything you set your mind to. Have you checked out any books or podcasts?

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I haven’t have you read some good books I would definitely try reading some and thank you for that it helps to know I am not alone and yea I sit here and see other people drink and they are fine and I think ok well j can do that I’ll just have s few it never works it’s so frustrating and I am over it and just want to stop for good and I am tired of hearing myself having to say sorry it wont happen again and then a week later it happens!!

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I know the feeling all too well. I don’t know how many times I’ve tried to cut back after an embarrassing night. It works for a while, but sooner or later, it happens again. I made a list with two columns on it. One side was all the good things I get from drinking. The other side, the bad. The good side on my list was completely empty. So I decided finally to give it up for good. Check out the podcast, “Recovery Elevator.” It REALLY helps me and you’ll find you are not alone.

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This is why I’m here. I was sick and tired of saying sorry. Every day I’d wake up and start a fight bc I was either still drunk or just miserably hungover and ruin my bfs day immediately in front of my 5yo. And then he’d go to work, upset, and I’d sleep on the couch while my daughter watched TV. It went like that for a long long time. And he drinks everyday but never gets out of control over and can go to bed with left over alcohol, that I’d normally find and drink. He kept saying I dont care if you drink, just dont get out of control. That’s not possible for me.

Well I’m happy to say I’m at 40 days and it’s been easy for me. I know it’s hard for a lot of people on here but I’ve tried and failed so many times that now I know it’s either do it all the way, or dont. And I am finally doing it and it’s well worth it. You can do it too. Wish you well :grin:

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What have you tried to help you stay stopped in the past? What are you willing to do?

I had to be willing to do everything, I did pretty much everything to be able to drink, needed that same conviction to get and stay sober.

In my experience, giving someone else 100% of you, or hinging your sobriety on someone else will lead to relapse. Drinking is a selfish game and so is early sobriety.

If a low bottom drunk like me can get sober, so can you. Throw the kitchen sink at your sobriety, the more you put in, the more you get out.

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My story is similar. I never drank every day, sometimes I would go months. But when I started to drink, I didn’t have an off switch and all it made me feel was: anxious, depressed, shameful, and guilty. It really isn’t worth it. I also have kids. I had to come to terms with needing to quit for me, because I deserve a better life. And the most wonderful part of it all is that the people around me are also much happier having “sober” me in their lives.

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So I’m curious did you start Bingeing after those “on wagon” month? I too have gone for awhile at time Sober, and when say hey I’m good “Let’s have some” then a 2-4 bender comes about!

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Hi, well done for realising that you can’t go on like this anymore, it’s a massive step in the journey your about to face. We all here have had a day one, lean on us for support when ever you need us. Books that helped me… Alan Carr…the easy way to quit drinking. Annie Grace… this Naked mind. Annie Grace does a 30 day experiment maybe @adeygaga49 could give you abit more info on that and maybe suggest a book or two?? Good luck my friend :pray:t2::two_hearts:

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It was super inconsistent. I would sometimes be fine to have 1-2, and then other times my brain would just throw in the towel and it would be a 2 bottle of wine night when I had to work the next day…

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Amanda,

Stick with it and stick with us we are here to help! Reach out when needed, read and post. I wish you continued luck on your journey.

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Thank you so much means alot and feels good to know I am not the only one!

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That’s exactly what I would do!

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Hi Amanda, glad to see you here. You’re in the right place for connection & support - this community rocks! - and I have a link (below) with lots of resources, meetings, and book suggestions.

There are lots of good meetings (from many different philosophies and practices, AA, Refuge Recovery, Women for Sobriety, and many others). Meetings make a huge difference for most of us. The connection with other people fills a need most of us addicts have: we’re very very lonely :slightly_smiling_face:, and we’ve been neglecting our emotional needs.

Another powerful resource is Al-Anon, for family and friends, if they choose to reach out for their own community of support. Our addictions are part of webs of behaviour & patterns that have long histories for a lot of us & our family & friends. If family wants to develop their strength in recovery, that can be transformative as well.

Wishing you luck on this journey & looking forward to walking the path with you! Stay in contact & we’ll talk again soon :innocent:

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