drinking makes me self harm relapse but it’s the only thing that stops me from feeling anxious 
was aiming for half a year but thinks are bad
Have you considered medication instead?
everything under the sun but have been talking to healthcare professionals about my issue… they’re not too interested.
Keep looking at a more receptive medical professional. There are way too many out there to settle for an unreceptive one.
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Have you tried meditation for the anxiety? There’s a lot of great apps. Using alcohol is not the only option IMO and you don’t want to replace one addiction for another.
some are good and some are bad. but when my anxiety reaches a point where I really want out, alcohol is such a quick fix 
I really don’t and that’s the fear rn, but my anxiety is making me v suicidal as if late, and this seems the quickest fix
Is it the only thing, because you’ve tried absolutely everything else, or is it the easy choice that you’ve settled on?
it’s kinda the emergency one to stop the anxiety when it gets it’s worse