To the few who believe this to be a sober tinder

Hi Sassy,
Thanks for the reminder, I think this is a good point for all threads, if you find something wrong or offensive, flag, don’t engage. The moderators can help. Have a great day!

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Yesterday I flagged a post and also respectfully engaged with the poster to give them the chance to correct their offensive language. Noone knows everything and we all deserve chances to grow and improve. I see nothing wrong with that. It’s of course up to each of us how we respond to those challenges to grow.

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Yes, that is indeed one of our guidelines. You can review them in the FAQ and also the Rules.

No, that is not in the rules. I posted them above, if you would like to review them. The FAQs are also extremely helpful. :slightly_smiling_face:

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Mute and ignore can be very helpful tools for threads, as well as other members if necessary. We are each responsible for our own experience here.

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I get it that isn’t explicitly stated in the rules, in these exact terms, but still I think that this expectation of civility is covered in rule #1, Be Civil. Like, to me that’s common sense: when you’re civil, you don’t trash talk people, doesn’t matter what they did. You flag it and the responsible parties (moderators) do the jobs they do so well. Then you leave, or block, or silence the user or the thread (details on how to do that here: How to Mute / Ignore User or a Thread).

This platform isn’t a spectator sport where people watch others duke it out about what they perceive to be the sins of others. It’s not an audience activity where we talk with each other (in public or in private) about the “performers” as if we were viewers talking about celebrities on a show.

This platform is about getting sober, for every human here, whether you understand their behaviour or not. (Note that I say “understand”, and not “like”. Sobriety is not a popularity contest.)

As the old saying goes, sobriety isn’t easy, but it is simple: get your ego out of the way, ask for help, and work on yourself. It’s the same on Talking Sober: get your ego out of the way, ask for help (from moderators, if the issue is a disruption to the forum), and work on yourself.

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I had that happen too, a guy saying the same thing. It was a while ago. I think I flagged it. :unamused:

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Actually Faugxh I have been wondering who the person is in the portrait in your profile, ever since you changed it. (Months ago… a year? Has it been a year yet?)

Who is that in the portrait? If you don’t mind sharing of course.

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And speaking (just in general) of people substituting other images into their profile pics (from art, or their pets, or other icons and images), I find that fascinating. To me the choice of image a person puts in their profile pic is a window into their mind; it suggests something about their personal narrative, about how they understand themselves in the world and I find that fascinating.

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Why, Matt. It’s me of course. Just an old pic. Couple of centuries old.
:innocent:

(I forgot the source, sorry. Had it as my WhatsApp for years)

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Ooooh a mystery!

Let me put on my sleuthing cap. I love a mystery. I will find what I can find and report back.

:male_detective:t2:

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Right but in a pm pls. Gotta retain some mystery!

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Yes of course, you’re right :female_detective: :innocent:

Wish I could like this comment many, many times.

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@Matt @Faugxh it’s a portrait of (redacted for continued mystery)

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When you made that change, I smiled, instantly. I love those books.

I’ll tell you what that change suggests to me:

  • You’re playful, whimsical, like those books are
  • You have an open and curious mind, like children do (not to say that you’re childish, but instead to say, you’ve retained that valuable curiosity they have in spades)
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Cool! But also - Dude, you blew the mystery!

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Looks like something Michelangelo would have painted.

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Well, she totally copied my style tho.

We are all going to end up the in the derailment void. Looking forward to the ride!

EDIT Aybee, very much appreciate the redaction. :grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes::raised_hands::raised_hands:

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To me having Kevin as your pic suggests:

  • You have an affinity for animals, which means you have a deep caring streak
  • You have a Guinea pig - and not a cat or a dog (much more common pets) - which means you have an independent streak (independent enough that you explored options outside the two most common pet types)