To the little girls of the world

[Sarahyab]

Little me,

You don’t know me, but in time you will. I have the benefit of time and experience on my side and wanted to share some thoughts with you. I know you were afraid and alone, and I am sorry. I couldn’t protect you. I am writing this for the girl who grew up in the darkness. I want her to know there is light to be found. You did such a wonderful job of surviving and camouflaging yourself to fit in. You did a great job of keeping the secret of shame in your family. You did a great job of searching for your body’s natural desire to find love, even though you had to look in all of the wrong places first. You no longer carry the weight from the generations of chains you had been dragging around. The darkness that has permeated your being for so long. Is finally gone. You can take off that fake smile now and stop pretending. You are free to be you, strong emotions and all. Let go of all the shame that has bound you for so long. It was not your fault. He took something most precious from you and it was not your fault. You will soon see this. The neglect and abandonment you felt were real. But now we can acknowledge that and move on. We can forgive. We can let go. We can breathe through our disappointment. We made it through what was meant to destroy us. Thank you for being brave all those years ago.

The abuse you are suffering now, is going to aid in an addiction to drugs that is going to nearly destroy you. Yep, you heard me, the thing we swore we’d never touch is going to grab hold of us and rock our world to its core. Just know though, that you are going to fight and you are going to survive. You’re going to have babies one day and everything you went through as a child, is going to help you be fiercely protective of those babies. You are going to hug them and talk to them and show them how important they are. You’re going to be what we wanted when we were little, for them. You are also going to mourn the loss of their father, your husband. Yeah, I hate to break it to you kid but, we have been handed a first hand lesson in grief. Unfair I know, especially considering the hell we lived through growing up. We’re going to be ok though, I promise you that.

Lastly, I have seen. I have seen what you have gone through. I have seen you hiding. I have seen you scared. I have seen you pretending. I have seen you confused. I have seen you alone. I have seen what no one else has. I have seen the tears. I have seen the fear. I have seen you with nowhere to go and no one to turn to. I have seen you suppressing your innocence because someone you trusted took unfair advantage of just that. I have seen you denying who you are because you felt unlovable. I have seen you feel unsafe. I have seen you wondering when it will be safe to come out. I have seen because well, I am you. I have seen the years pass and you never got the chance. You had to stay inside while I grew up into bigger responsibilities. I thank you for holding on as long as you did, for helping me to reconcile what I needed to move forward. I would never have been wholly healed, without you. Alone, neither of us will really make it, but together, hand in hand, we do. You take my hand, and I’ll take yours. Together we will step into our full healing and bring hope to all the other lost little girls❤️

[Solanaceae]

Beautiful.

Thank you for this

[Sarahyab]

Thank you

[Blondie1x]

Oh my god! This was amazing! I felt like I had written this whilst I read. I have been feeling big changes and huge healing lately and I was going to come here to try to let people know that we can heal. No matter how awful it was (at times I didn’t think I’d survive it) but we can recover! This post is amazing. Thank you @Sarahyab for putting this on here, so beautifully written god bless you lady

[Sarahyab]

I agree. I’ve done a lot of healing work, yet still, I have miles to go. We are survivors though. The children left behind, who became the adults we would of felt safe with growing up. What a beautiful thing.

I wish more then anything I could go back and hold little Sarahya. Tell her how brave she would one day be. Since I can not, I will hold space for all the other little girls and boy’s of the world. I’ll step into their darkness whenever I can, and set the entire fucking place on fire to light their way out❤️

[Sarahyab]

At times I too believed I wouldn’t survive. Yet we did. What was meant to destroy us has ignited a force to be reckoned with. Never again to be those scared children without a voice, lighting torches, and throwing them into the darkness. Light houses for those still lost in the eye of the storm. What they thought was our destruction, was actually our awakening. So much love for you and the lost little girl, you once were but will never be again❤️

[JuliaLuna]

SARAHYA

this is a masterpiece.
thank you Queen

[Sarahyab]

thank you for reading it

[Amy30]

That’s beautifully written, Sarahya. So much of that resonates with my childhood experiences and how that messed me up for years.

You’re a brave soul and you’ve been to hell and back, yet look at you, still standing!

[Sarahyab]

I’m so sorry you can relate So many of us have traveled through darkness to get to where we are today.

I had closed the door on that messy room called childhood sexual abuse for many years. Ignoring what had happened to me and the neglect and abuse I suffered at the hands of those who were suppose to protect me. I’ve since, opened that messy room and turned on the lights. The room was filled with boxes, I went through the boxes one at a time. Feeling all the feelings sober.

I imagine there’s this last box, the only one I want to keep. It’s plain brown with a beautiful pink bow. Inside theres box after box, empty like a gag gift on your birthday. Until the very last tiny one. Inside are a pair of diamond earrings. They represent all the trauma, abuse, neglect I’ve been through. Squished down, condensed and clear. I’m still keeping all those empty boxes. As a reminder. They nest inside one another. Full of lessons. I took the diamonds to wear though, then placed the empty boxes back into each other, one after another. Put a pink ribbon back on top. Placed them back in the room. The diamonds are for me, to never forget who I am again. My gift of hope to the world and to myself.