321 days sober…I have had good days, bad days, shitty days. Life will dish out what ever it wants.
I am dealing with a back that just wont stop hurting, jacked up knees, jacked up feet…depression thumping my butt…as soon as my head hits the pillow…boom full blown panic attack, followed by sleep, followed by the same service connected nightmare I have had for 17 years. PTSD seems to be my only friend, the bastard. Thank you Uncle Sam for all that shit. Lonely, pissed, sad…all felt at the same time.
After 321 days this is what I have learned. A drink will solve absolutely nothing. If I am sober, I have a chance to fight thru the day and make some peace out of my life. A drink will, and I know this from 25 years of being a drunk, only make everything worse.
I have little fight in me left. However, if I maintain my sobriety…all this shit will pass. If I drink…it will only get worse.
We all struggle, life will never be easy. A drink solves nothing
Sending you so much my friend - you have helped me so much on my journey. If there is one thing I have learned is that it is impossible to make any progress on my mental health issues until I put the plug in the jug - all drinking did was make them worse and more confused.
Thanks for sharing this …great job on those nearly a year days!!
I’m struggling to pass day 3 since January… I’m pumped for 2 days then I feel like it’s to rough to fight. Then I tell myself the week after will be better. But it’s been 6 weeks I do this. You just remembered me that I have to keep fighting, and that the fight will be on the long run , and every day. But damn depression is hard in the winter !!
@anon46927530, man, i first got here 70 days ago, and your words, written regularly, were one of the reasons I kept coming back and fighting day after day. You and several others were and continue to be instrumental in my journey. I was bummed when you dialed it down for a bit and am so very happy now that you are posting more. I wish there was a way I could help you in the way you’ve helped me. But in the meantime, know that I am rooting for you to keep fighting the good fight. I am terribly sorry that you are struggling with PTSD and I truly hope it gets better for you over time. Always here for support…Tom
Thanks for sharing! I also suffer from depression, anxiety. I’ve used addiction as a crutch for so long, but I’m starting to realize that this crutch is actually making it worse, not better. I had a rough day. My daughter is a cancer survivor and today she had her regular screening. Thank God she is still in remission, but all of that anxiety and trauma was really right there on the surface today. But I’m not using my trauma as an excuse to drink anymore. Thanks for reminding me and for sharing your story. Definitely what I needed to hear today.
@anon46927530, I’m so sorry you’ve had to deal with all this crap. But you’re so inspiring to the rest of us who are newly sober-if you can do it, we can too. Keep up the great work and thank you so much for serving our country.
You work so hard for each one.