Honestly, I don’t know where to start or what to say. I’ve dug this one deep and all I want for today is to say yes when I’m asked that certain question… I have yet to put in on this day. Prayers please everyone and I am already praying for all. I really need to catch myself before I lose myself.
Can you be more specific please? I have no idea what you are referring to.
That’s another issue… I’m never specific… is that bad?
Okay so since I’ve been out of inpatient rehab I relapsed and haven’t been on a steady road of being clean. I haven’t lost my way yet, what I mean by that is I can still the light at the end of the tunnel and
when I said have yet to put in I was meaning I didn’t put in last night past 12 midnight… and the question I have been asked everyday for about 3 days now is have I been good today… he is someone I went to highschool with… never talked at school and now out of no where he’s here and actually became one of my biggest supporters and i know it sounds silly because it’s only been 3 days since I OPENED up to him that I have a weakness but it’s non stop how he continues to build me up to try again each day, . I haven’t had the stable support system here at home and it’s a huge deal for me. I’ve shut down and didn’t get back on here or any other sites to talk about what has been going on because the fear of not being listened to or responded to with positivity and hope. Does that make sense?? If I missed anything please let me know and I’ll explain.
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Excellent! Now I understand 
Is the fear that you wouldn’t be listened to or responded to with positivity and hope come from a past or present experience? Or is it just that…a fear…that hasn’t happened? In real life in your environment it can be frustrating because people that don’t understand this disease give advice not based on reality of addiction. Here, we help eachother when we fall and build eachother up with positive reinforcement. Because…we completely understand.
It’s past and present fear. It could be because they have never been through their own addiction but they had to deal with someone else before I grew up and got into my own… but also I live with an active addict… she also to has her ways of some days when she does have her whatever she wants to do or take she’ll be fine then when she doesn’t she’s cocky or rude with me and won’t take a minute which I totally understand why.
My grandmother knows what is going on and they all say they support me but I feel like all that’s happened in the past with having to go through it with my mom and uncle that all that support that they’ve given them is already gone or almost. It has been very hard today but I have yet to put in and God is intervening big time. I thank him so so much.
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Hey how are you