Today's the day (back to the City)

Life in Recovery
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So I am just about to head off into London.

I am 4 weeks sober, but I have found those 4 weeks pretty easy because Ive basically been in the house - only stepping out occasionally to walk the dog.

Today, I will be going to the office in the City… there will be drink and merriment everywhere. Until you have experienced life working in the City of London, you don’t understand how engrained drinking is in that culture.

I am also meeting my old mentor… a man I love dearly but a man who also likes a drink.

My plan is to drive to the station… if I have the car, that’s an excuse. I am also going to suggest to my mentor that we go for dinner - he might not notice that I am not drinking if we are at dinner… and if he does, I’ll say I am on medication.

I really just want to stay where I am. Its warm and safe at home, there is no booze and its just me and the dog against the world.

But I can’t stay hidden away forever. At some point, I am going to have to be out there amongst it all and I am going to have to do everything I can to resist the many temptations.

Sorry for rambling, I just felt the need to make a public declaration that I am not going to go down that all too familiar drunken path today.

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I hope you have the courage to say “None for me today, thanks” no explanation needed. If pushed to explain, perhaps “I feel so much better when I don’t drink”. I like the idea that you have to get the car back home, that’s a respectable reason to stay dry, too.

Good luck today!

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First, I’m sorry that you can’t share about your choice to be sober… I hope at some point you can because there might be someone else that has been thinking they need to stop and they might see hope in your journey… second, I don’t blame you for keeping it to yourself because they will instantly start to encourage you to join them “oh, come on just this once” or “you’ll be fine! Just have one” I am finding this out each time I try to be sober, the peer pressure is ridiculous and it shows me exactly who my friends are, no one ugh

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So I thought I would post a bit of an update as I am on the train on my way home and this is the point in my day where I would usually stop off at the pub or shop for " just one more."

So I went into London and I didn’t drink.

Plenty of people did… as I type these words now, there are people stumbling through the train - hammered. These people wont remember getting home tomorrow, but I will.

I eventually caught up with my mentor. When I found him, he was in the pub talking at a young lady who was easily 30 years younger than him.

I don’t think I’ll ever understand what it is about alcohol that makes men think they must be irresistible to women.

I grabbed a zero alcohol beer. People appear to leave you alone if you have a “drink” in your hand.

When my mentor inevitably asked me why I wasn’t drinking - emboldened by some of the replies here I replied: “I don’t want to, I am a better version of me without it”

I expected him to argue with me or try to cajole me into having a drink but he just shrugged and then said “that’s ok, I have other people to drink with.”

I used to think that if I went sober, the other bar flies would miss me. Maybe they’d talk about me and wonder where I was. The truth is, if you are not there, they do not give you a second thought; there will always be “other people to drink with.”

So my mentor hugged me and told me how pretty he thought the young girl was - much to her embarrassment.

She went on to make her excuses and leave… I can’t say I blame her.

That’s when it happened.

She said goodnight and left and for a few minutes my mentor’s attention was elsewhere.

After a while he announced: “Well if she’s gone, I get to finish her wine” and with that he picked up the glass of red she had left on the table and drank it himself.

It was enough for me… my next drink was a glass of tap water and then I decided to head home.

Funny thing is, as I left my mentor and the shadow of my former self at that bar, I noticed a lady smiling at me from another table.

I bashfully smiled back and thought to myself how I never ever would have noticed that had things gone the way they always go… had I succumbed to the drink.

So, my train will pull into my station in 15 minutes. Then I am going to get the car and treat myself to a coffee and a cake on the way home. I feel I have earnt them tonight.

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Yay, well done! I understand the city drinking culture so you must be really proud of yourself. That story about your mentor is really sad. Glad you were able to spot the girl that smiled too, focus on that :blush:

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Enjoy your coffee and cake! Sounds like you realised a lot of things tonight that you can put to use to help keep you sober. :purple_heart:

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You can be proud of yourself for this response. You rocked it!

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You’re stronger than that. I’m in Montreal Canada and I know the UK lifestyle about drinking is sometimes sickening. If others choose to destroy themselves there’s no need to follow. Like I always say learn to live with all your emotions instead of anesthetizing them. Alcohol lies to your ears. It’s a hard process but so worthy. Now, when people drink in front of me, they actually feel stupid because I have as much fun as them. My friend said it makes her realize that she had to cut on the drinking. We are an example. Keep it up :raised_hands:

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You’re so right about that. No need to drink to have a personality :raised_hands:t2:

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Bravo :raised_hands:t2: that’s the way to go.

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Thanks for sharing your story and update. I live in Canada now but used to live and work in london for 5 years and so am aware of the ‘norm’ of the drinking culture there. Very different here!
You are the opposite of me, home is not my safe space as this is where I would retreat into a bottle of wine at the end of each day.
Good for you for staying strong, I’m glad you made it through.

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And this, my friend, is a grain of salt truth. No one cares unless it’s for their own self when drinking. Poor girl, but I bet she crept off thinking what a fucking dirty old creep he is… Well done you :+1::+1::+1:

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