430 no alcohol
361 no vapes or ciggs 70 no form of nicotine
30 no firm of marijuanna
A old aa sponcer told me
You know what you need to do. I was told that a lot by different people during my sober journey.
Sometimes i dont know what to do. But i guess i do have a plan and know what to do when i dont know what to do
Lol
Crazy
Sometimes life us uncertain. Where will i be in about a year? Do i make enough financialy? Am i in a good place in life? I have no idea.
This is a GOOD THING if handled with care. I need to push myself to be better. Being comfortable is good but too much of anything is bad.
At some point in our lives we breath and stand strong or fall to pieces in fear. Fear sucks
Fear is paralizing
Being still turns to stagnant
Maybe this is why i relapsed so many times over the years. Being scared and turning stagnant
Maybe i dont think i can do it some days
JUST LIKE WORKING OUT
its better to workout and skip a day then to stop until you spiral down
Pressure is good i think if we have someone we can turn to
For me, its all of you. 
So thank you for checking daily talking sober.
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For me this part above is a huge part of my drinking. Fear, fear and insecurity. Fear of life and what the future beholt, fear of people, fear of new things. That and not having the abilities to cope with all my emotions.
Having a big shield around me to save my heart from being hurt by others.
I had to be sober for at least a year before I had the space to work at myself. Babysteps.
This year I’m making steps to get out of my comfortzone. Again babysteps. It’s scary to do sometimes, but doing it anyway and it gives me so much at the end! I discovered new hobbies, new people and learned I can do so much more then my inner voice told me!
That inner voice is that wall around me. I know it’s there to protect me. But it also tells me I cannot do it ore that people do not like me.
So I manage to make that wall a bit thinner. When I hear that protective voice I thank her for warning me and still doing it and show her I can handle it.
My life is growing every day because of those steps out of my comfortzone.
Sometimes it’s 2 steps foreward and one backwards, but still moving forward.
Forward and not stagnant anymore!!
It’s there for you too buddy, you are seeing what you are doing so it’s there to change. That’s a hurdle you already took 
I have those days as well, then you see me here more 
The daily checkin thread is my life savior at those days. Difficult days , but it’s just a difficult day and who knows what tomorrow brings? And I know what a relapse will bring me and that’s no good.
Life is good and bad days I tell myself. No good without the bad and hope to find a balance in between
Thank you for being her too buddy, your thread resonates with my learning path.
5 Likes
I would like to chime in on FEAR. I believe now I was afraid of everything. Being not loved, of abandonment, not being a good wife, doing and saying the wrong things.
I have read so much …where there is love it is said fear cannot exist. I must do everything with love as I know it. Where there is gratefulness it is said anxiety can’t be present. I try to be grateful for all I have. Sometimes tough to be grateful when life seems pretty shitty. I try hard!
2 Likes