Science hasn’t proved or disproven a higher power. You can relax. However, with that said perhaps AA isn’t for for you. I personally haven’t gone. I have plenty of reasons why I must stay sober. Sometimes one has to white knuckle. But I’m open minded to it.
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It definitely is a religion within itself, I can certainly agree with that. And that’s a great thing because the people it saved feel incredibly strongly about it, as they should. It’s a beautiful thing. Just not my thing.
The one thing I can’t and won’t tolerate is being told there is something wrong with me, or that I didn’t work the program right, and that’s why it didn’t work for me. I’m actually a little tired of defending myself about it. I shouldn’t have to. I know otherwise and that’s what matters.
Now, I feel the same way about therapy, naltrexone, Zoloft, buspar, and adderall lol. Especially the naltrexone. I would give anything to have known about it 30+ years ago. I give it a lot of credit for saving my life. I want to shove naltrexone down everyone’s throats and go “see!”. Would that make me a drug pusher? Lol
I’ve heard people say that naltrexone did not work for them, and it blows my mind. However, there is no perfect one size fits all remedy for sobriety. It’s a very personal journey.
I do know this. If you want it, you can have it. Try anything and everything until you find what works for you. Just never give up 
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Amen and amen!
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Amen. I am a rational believer. Even the most ardent atheists admit that there are things that cannot be explained by science. The existence of my higher power can neither be proven, nor disproven by science.
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I’m not in AA, I have a very strong spiritual faith though, if you want to offer faith to a higher power then that would be the most important person in your life, yourself. No Gods or higher power will help people who do not help themselves, scientifically that is accurate as well and they align, the only person who can help you is you, so why don’t you give yourself more credit and stay strong cause your going through a tough time and you it will get better if you allow the room for personal development, trauma recovery, letting go of the past, discovering your purpose, creating new healthy ways to cope. There are so many things you can do, I would start learning more about life and self discovery. Im saying that as someone who has fallen out of faith before and been an atheist and agnostic at some point in my life, grow your roots and heal, and when you start to heal, allow yourself to be vulnerable to the fact you’re a human being, then you can decide to give that faith and love back within 
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A friend of mine had the same problem and wrote this book to help people struggling with it also. I highly recommend it! Its helped me a lot honestly
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James 2:14-17
What does it profit, my brethren, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can faith save him? If a brother or sister is naked and destitute of daily food, and one of you says to them, “Depart in peace, be warmed and filled,” but you do not give them the things which are needed for the body, what does it profit? Thus also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.
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My higher power is nature. And there’s not much more scientific than earth science!!!
That and the power of other recovering addicts also very scientific… social science?
Tunnel vision will kill your recovery as will Ego.
I heard of an acronym the other day…
E.dging
G.od
O.ut
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Omg Kev! Happy two years to you!! Love watching you killin’ it 
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Im in AA. I don’t get too into the higher power stuff all the time. I merely accepted there MAY be something higher than myself and the known world.
It sure beats being a drunk and when I bought in it worked. Nothing else did for me. That alone makes me think there may be a higher power because I was a WRECK.
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AA helped me get on track. The meetings can be very benifical. You get a chance to talk with others that have been or going through this. You can hear thier stories as well and reflect on their journey as well. AA is a very simple GUIDE some people use to achieve sobriety. Although there are aspects that you may not agree with. Im not a religious man myself. But there is alot of good stuff in the big book, going to meetings, talking to a sponsor and alot of the lessons learned in AA also go beyond alcohalism. Don’t deny yourself any opportunity to achive sobriety and happiness. You deserve it.
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You can have a middle, you just need to find yours, I get what your saying I was doing na, and I loved it I made new friends and was taught by other people’s life experiences that I fully related too which in turn helped me not feel so alone, in addition we become so alone even if your around ppl all the time, it’s the nature of the beast, for me it was anyhow, I found when I relapsed my inner self sabotage talk woukd say, fuck na I don’t want to do that for years upon years, I can do this ALONE, why do I need other ppl, but I do and if I have to give up 2 hours out of 7 days I’m willing too for the sake of my LIFE… you don’t have to take on a higher power you can just go and listen, you don’t have to get a sponsor if you don’t want, its only suggestions, take what you want leave the rest.
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