So i was in recovery 46 days and then my ex got out of prison and offered me drugs and to be honest temptation is a disease that can snatch yr inner most desires to stay in a clean state away just in a blink of an eye and im spewing at my decision to take the meth and put it in my mouth after my awesome run at success to stay cleean i now feel so dirty and ive let myself down. This has taught me i need to be way more stronger and now im on day 3 of being clean and i aint going back this time. Drugs are dum. Same shit different day whats the point in having it i dont enjoy it like i used to. Im over it! Hopefully i can stick to it this time and not freaking use. Its my own fault i own it. Im spewing.
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Sorry to hear about your relapse. We need to change people, places and things. Good news is is you are back on the road to recovery which is a miracle regardless if it is day one or 1,000 you just came back from active drug use / relapse alive and many addicts don’t make it back after going back out so you have been offered the gift of recovery again so don’t be too hard on yourself.
Look at it as a learning experience as a what not to do in the future and also, who you need to cut out of your life. I had to cut off everyone who I used to use with and all it left me with was my family and people in recovery which was scary and new at first and somewhat lonely but I promise you it was a blessing in disguise. I got to know myself and be comfortable with myself, I got time with my loved ones back, realized what a HEALTHY SAFE relationship was. It also gave me more room to grow new relationships with new people in recovery. Sometimes our Higher Power gets rid of the old so He (God) can give us something MUCH MUCH BETTER!!! We just have to have faith! So maybe something is trying to show you this old life isn’t for you, these old people who do nothing but hurt you aren’t for you and God and recovery have something more beautiful in store for you you just have to keep coming back, don’t pick up no matter what, don’t leave before the miracle happens, take it one day at a time and just breathe. I am glad you are here and you can always message me for support. I am in recovery from meth and heroin as well so I understand the struggle. I really hope this helped.
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