Ya I’ve been sober 437 days. I stayed in a hotel for a few days and didn’t talk to her at all. Just gave her and myself some space. Then I came back last night and it was the same fight it has been. She doesn’t talk, she goes straight to yelling and it doesn’t help the situation at all.
I appreciate everyone’s time and responses, it gives me another perspective to look at and some things to consider. I think what I’m going to do is just leave it alone, not talk to her for a while and think about my options. Weigh it all out and see which is best, if I don’t make the effort to talk we don’t talk, I have to text her first otherwise we simply won’t talk since she’s too tied up playing games. For someone that’s 31 she sure doesn’t seem like it nor act like it.
There’s a lot for me to think about and accept. It’ll take a little time so that’s fine. This is where I can put myself first and really see what I NEED to do, not what I WANT to do. Its toxic as hell and not good for my recovery.
I guess I’m not one to take breaks if that makes sense. If something is to a point where it’s failed enough to need a break then imo it’s not worth staying in. I won’t be in a relationship that’s constantly needing breaks. If I’m in a relationship I want to know that I’m not wasting time and effort. I want to feel loved or cared for, I want to know that you’re in it 100%, you don’t get to pick and choose how much effort you’re putting in depending how you feel. Its all or nothing. That’s how I am and it’s saved me a lot of heart ache.
I rarely let people in, they have to prove they are worth my time. I can’t stand the people that are around because they need something then poof they’re gone. It seems I let my guard down with this one. Now she’s only nice and all lovey when she wants something, other than that she treats me like shit.
I feel like I’ve made my mind up but if I take a couple days to think about it I feel like it’ll be easier to accept. Thank you again everyone, truly. Still sober through it all so far.