I’m beginning my journey with sobriety in earnest, official today. Of course, I drank all the liquor in my house yesterday before giving it a go, so not the best way to start, but we have to start somewhere!
The biggest obstacle I anticipate is from my friends and family, and I would greatly appreciate any and all guidance.
My mom, dad, and, to some extent, my younger sister, all suffer from addictions of one sort or the other ON TOP of alcoholism, like me. When I have tried to stop drinking in the past they pressure me to drink, and seem personally insulted that I’m trying to stop. Then, when I gave into the pressure, they reward me with a lot of positive reinforcement, encouragement, etc. NOT HEALTHY. The thing is, cutting them out of my life until I’m stronger in my sobriety (the only option I can think of) is really not practically possible because I work in the family business. I see them every day. Plus, we’re very close, and I don’t even know that I could do that. If anyone else has ideas on how to handle this, I am desperate for help! P.S. none of them are interested in recovery.
All of my friendships were forged in bars and at private residences under the heavy influence of alcohol. My friends and I would take turns puking in each other’s bathrooms and falling asleep on each other’s couches or guest beds. I really care for many of these people, but I feel that without alcohol we might not have anything in common, and we may not even like each other that much, as sad as that is. Maybe 1-2 of them do I feel comfortable saying that I could spend time with them sober (if they’d even want to do so). Has anyone had any experience with this?
@RibbitOnRye. I am beginning this journey all over again. I have been battling alcoholism for the last ten years. Today is day 10. However, I had some prior experience with sobriety longevity after going through treatment. The first thing I did after getting out was to change my friends. I could no longer hang out with them. That’s one thing you can start with.
As for your family, that’s a different dynamic since it is also a working relationship. It’s ok to work with them, but you don’t have to be with them when they’re drinking. One thing I have learned over the last 10 days is that I can only do what only I can do and I can’t concern myself with what others think. My walk in sobriety has to take precedence over everything else, and if that means there will be pain along the way, then that’s ok. Let them think what they’re going to think, you have no control over that.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Thank you for sharing your words of wisdom; I know that there will be casualties as I wage this war, but It certainly helps to hear it from people who have experienced it. I just hate so much that it might harm my relationship with my family. It makes kicking this addiction that much harder.
Congrats on the 10 days!!! At this point, even that feels almost impossible to me, when my every third thought it focused on booze. I feel very fortunate to have the benefit of guidance from you and the other people in this community.
@RibbitOnRye Don’t worry about the future or wracking up days. Just get through today every time you wake up. I hear the same mantra at meetings from people who have been sober for decades (literally). They say that “today” is the most important dates of my recovery. Just get through the day, sometimes for me it’s getting through the hour, but I have made it the last 10 days so I know I can do it, and so can you.