Jazzy, thank you for all of your support over the past month. I will read that thread tomorrow as I have much to do this morning before everyone else gets up. Christmas Day was good. No major drama, everyone was good. But, today at 6 PM makes seven days. My first legitimate seven days in quite some time. I know I can do this. My plan is to come here if I have urges and continue to remind myself that I am done hurting people with this addiction. I also have started thinking more about having children any how I need to role model actions and values for them.
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You are most welcome friend. A huge congrats on your 1 week milestone 
…I know it wasn’t easy and you should be proud of yourself. You have a great plan and adding whatever other support tools to help out will only enforce it.
I am so happy for you and wish you continued success 
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Hitting one week felt really good. But, I think what felt even better was reflectively looking into what my purpose is. I took the time to really sit down and think about what my purpose is in this lifetime right now. In short, I want to advance my profession, raise kids who have good values, be a role model for those kids, be a reliable and available husband, be well read and educated, and be in the physical shape where I am able to do all of those things I described above.
So I’m headed to the gym this morning after my meditation and my day is going to be taking actions that help me fulfill that purpose.
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Wow! This is awesome and powerful. I hope you have a wonderful day my friend. Stay strong and motivated 
Woke up with urges. Came here. Needed a reminder that sitting on this couch hurts people. I need to not hurt people. I need to fulfill my purpose, be a role model, be a good husband and fight.
Action steps for today:
- Meditation
- Put laundry away
- Unload dish washer
- Put Read book
- Pay bills
Just start there.
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That’s a fantastic start!! You are making the mental efforts to push through the urges and fill your time with things/tasks that will keep you focused on other matters. Keep at it friend…you are doing great
Urges got strong after some stress. Felt it. Reminding myself here that I want to be a role model to my future kid and stop hurting myself and others with my actions. I gotta be reliable!!!
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Yes and that is not always easy or enough of a reason to resist.
Are you able to move about and do something to keep yourself occupied so you don’t focus on the urges. Don’t give them any time and they will go away. You have been making some great steps forward…just keep pushing on
Made it to two weeks. Woke up with urges. Checked in here. I need to grow in my profession today which means staying on task. I know I can do this. One day at a time but I’m done hurting people. My posture is starting to straighten up and I’m not giving that back!
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Heck yeah . 2 weeks is awesome work and I’m glad you checked in here instead of giving into the urges. You are stronger and more determined and have all the tools… keep at it
Stressed out about finances.Had urges. Came here instead. I want to make the choices today to create the habits that make me a role model for my future kids.
YES! You are doing this now with taking it ODAAT and not giving into the urges . The more time you stack up the stronger you will become 
Once you feel secure in your daily routine you will find the habits and rituals that got you this far are your new foundation and will ensure that you keep making those healthy choices!
Doing great work my friend – keep pushing forward!
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So I’ve been doing better with the phone but I’m noticing that I’m starting a bad late night snacking habit before bed because I feel unsettled. Tonight I’m going to try either just going right to bed or meditating.
Today there are going to be urges but I know that this stupid addiction gets in the way of me fulfilling my purpose. And I need that purpose so fuck that shit.
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You are doing great with the phone and that is the biggest downfall for your addiction so that needs most attention imo.
As you gain days and get new habits in place then it’ll be easier to stop with the snacking. Meditation before bed is a great start.
For me I learned in ice cream to help me overcome my withdrawal from alcohol. This lasted for months. I allowed myself the treat of ice cream knowing it was still way better than my DOC.
I like that you are being mindful and working so diligently in your recovery. Keep pushing forward!
How are you doing? Been a few days since we’ve seen you- hope you are well.
Sadly, not well. Relapsed yesterday and today. I had 17 good days going. Now I feel so weak. I was about to relapse again, but I came here. I just honestly felt so powerless. And I am realizing how badly I want to run from my emotions because my brains perception of these emotions is so catastrophic.
I feel like I failed my wife, my career, my future kids, and myself today.
So I need to rewind and really lock in and try to understand what just happened.
I had a long day and I knew I should go right to bed…but it was a stressful day and I chose to sit on my phone when I was stressed. I mean I really have to be so vigilant that when I am stressed I cannot go sit on my phone. My awareness was down because I was stressed and boom…Youtube, PMO, sobriety broken. Then yesterday I had a pretty good day…but same thing…stressed at the end of the night, sit down on the phone and then I am lying to my wife about why I am taking so long to come upstairs.
I wish that in that moment I had meditated or taken a breath or acknowledged the stress instead of shoving it down. I know I am going to have more urges. I am going to try acknowledging the stress when it comes up today and using coping skills and remembering that I need to get back to doing the things that helped my purpose.
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So sorry that you relapsed. Our addiction really does take over a part of our brain and it’s hard to think / act without it. It is always going to be pushing to make itself heard. You had 17 days and that is great. You can start day 1 today and leave the guilt of your relapse behind (that only feeds the addiction as it makes us down and low and allows us to easily falter again). I don’t have the same addiction as you but know that no matter what we need to have support, tools of how to handle urges/ triggers/ stressful situations and determination to keep moving forward .
Have you had a chance to read the other PMO related threads here? I do believe you will find many tools that may help you out. Coming here is also a great step to keep you accountable and in track. Maybe even do a check in in the check in thread?
Do you have someone to talk to IRL? A meeting group or therapist or counselor? Trying to do this journey alone is difficult and we end up punishing us ourselves way harder than we need to which hinders our growth
Take a deep breath and know that you will start from here to work on your day 1. We got your back 
Really trying to have a different mentality tonight. This is when I fell apart a week ago. Showering and going straight to bed.
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You got this! Great plan – stay off the phone. You know you don’t need that stress or distraction.
One moment at a time
Rooting for your success!