Trouble feeling spiritually connected

[l.grey]

hi everyone-

i’m wondering if anyone else here may experience difficulty feeling connected to a higher power or just even feeling minorly spiritually connected to life in general. i know spirituality isn’t for everyone, we all have different relationships with this sort of thing. religion isn’t my cup of tea, but i do desire to live a spiritual life, and can absolutely see how it has helped many on their recovery journeys. i’ve read about a lot of different types of spirituality, tried a few, i’ve tried “faking it until i make it”, i’ve tried praying to or speaking with a higher power. i just don’t feel at all connected, and i do want to. so i’m just curious if anyone may have any stories whether they’re similar to this or completely different, or if anyone has found a solid foundation without the crux of spirituality, what is it that has helped you along your way?

[Matt]

Personally my spiritual journey has varied from agnosticism to rational theism and everything in between. I personally think of it like this: every plant and bug and worm and branch has a place and a shape that they occupy, and no tree, no plant, no bug is the same as any other tree or plant or bug.

You see what I mean? Even if someone could put down in words what is is “supposed” to feel like, that would be their experience of it, and since every single one of us has our own niche in the forest, no one experiences the sunlight (and life in general) in exactly the same way.

We are all living because of the one sun that holds us together and illuminates our lives. It is literally the source of our life. What is the right way to sit in the sun and absorb the rays?

Maybe the journey from rock to rock and spot to spot is part of your journey. You may be the iguana in this metaphor. Always seeking the perfect perch to absorb the sunlight

I’m curious: what makes you ask this question? Are there writers or images or movies or messages that make you feel like it should feel a certain way?

Welcome to Talking Sober!

[SarahBear]

Hi friend, this is such a big and important topic!

I have gone back and forth feeling connected spiritually, and im still pretty new to sobriety. But i heard someone say today that we are all born with an innate desire for spirituality and I think I agree with that. a few things that help me feel connected to something bigger than myself, the rest of the universe, etc.:

1. Nature. Ideally taking a drive out of the city to a forest, park, or body of water, but even just looking at the beauty of a flower makes me ponder how something so small and perfect came to be on this huge earth…

2. Guided meditations. The Insight Timer app is free and has tons of guided meditations and courses you can search for by topic.

3. Service to others. I live in a big city so handing out food, warm clothes, or toiletries to the homeless is easy to do and connects me to other humans, and I can see “God” in them, and feel as though my higher power is directing me.

4. Music. Whether its a pop song with a message I love just driving in the car, singing Gospel in church, or sound bath/gongs type chill vibes, music just lights up my soul.

5. Reading spiritual books. I will go to the religion and spirituality section of the library and browse for a long time until something catches my eye. My most recent favorite is Secrets of Divine Love by A. Helwa. It is from the Muslim perspective which is something im studying, and its absolutly beautiful. Really helped me relate my sobriety with spirituality as many of the principles are the same.

Hope something in my rambling was helpful and wishing you all the best

[Smitty97]

In my beginning I simply knew it needed to be something non-human/man made that I could see, touch and had a giving purpose. I’m a science minded type. So, I chose all the forests.
They’ve never taken a drink of booze or a hit of anything and keep providing us with life sustaining Oxygen! Pretty cool and truly altruistic, as I see it.

[JVKE]

I always just stay consistent and keep on trying and eventually those times pass.

Maybe you’re experiencing seasonal depression.

Be consistent with whatever spiritual practice you chose and don’t worry about it.

I know power(s) greater than myself are here working in me or I wouldn’t be able to be clean/sober, and they always will be giving me the power to ‘stay stopped’ - and the same is true for you

feelings come and go

if you’re clean/sober you’re good

[Englishd]

Through working the steps I was able to have a spiritual awakening. It’s not a long drawn out answer, but it worked for me.

[Dazercat]

Welcome Grey,
Great topic. I hope it gets lots of action. I’ll try and weigh in later. But to me it has nothing to do with religion. And it was is really hard for me to separate that. Because I am no fan of religion. And the way I was brought up religion was engrained in my life.

[Dazercat]

Spirituality

I always had a hard time connecting too, spiritually, during my recoveries and still do to this day. It comes and goes or it’s off and on. And “faking it til I make it,” had to work for me for a while. Probably still do that.

Step 3 helped me a lot. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. (Or didn’t understand him in my case.) I’d come home from Al-Anon meetings knowing I had a drunk wife on the other side of the garage door. I never knew how drunk though. I’d stop…. Pause….and say “god? You go first.” I didn’t know who the hell I was talking to. But it helped. Helped a lot.

Living in the desert was pretty cool for me early on in my recovery journeys as there is definitely a higher power out there. I cannot for the life of me figure out how anything lives out in the desert. Must be some kind of HP. And it’s not like I’m going to pray to a cactus although those giant 200-300 year old saguaros must have some kind of power. And some stories to tell. Being out there with it all felt peaceful and spiritual.

Now, living by the Pacific Ocean definitely has a HP vibe for me. You cannot stop those waves. But again, what am I going to pray or ask for help to. The ocean? I don’t know. Maybe. But it doesn’t feel spiritually uplifting to me. Yet. But it is an unstoppable higher power.

When I go to meetings is when I feel my spiritual tank fill. Even overflow. Mostly my old Al- Anon meetings did this for me. It took awhile. Long time. But I just kept going back. After I knew the people going regularly after a year or so I guess we formed this common bond. And it just felt amazing. And during the shares I could feel “it.” Some kind of spiritual uplifting in my mind and body.

I’ve been in California a year now and I have not felt that same spiritual uplifting, at meetings like when I was with my Al-Anon friends during my darkest times living in the desert. But I will keep going back because it will happen again, when it happens. I do feel uplifted after meetings. They do fill my spiritual tank. But it’s just not the same. Yet.

And as @SarahBear mentioned, music . Music definitely fills me up spiritually. But how do I pray or ask that for help? But I know it makes me feel good.

@SarahBear that book sounds very interesting. I googled it. I’m very intrigued. Thanks.

I love the song Let The Mystery Be, by Iris DeMent. And I’m going with her. I’m going to let the mystery be. See what happens.

Whatever brings me serenity can be my HP. For awhile it was my cat Maverick. Or my dog Minnie. They knew when I needed them. They were always there for me. They brought me much peace. And I’d ask them for help. But I wouldn’t say pray. But they did give me this amazing feeling that everything would be all right. Must of been spiritual.

Thanks for letting me dump here. I hope more will join in.

[SarahBear]

Thanks! I think the thing about music for me is how it makes me feel also makes me feel like I definitely have a “soul” and I am connected to a greater feeling shared by everybody. For example, I was walking down the street listening to headphones and totally vibing then I see these two ladies at a stop light dancing in their car, also vibing. So when I crossed in front of them I did a little dance too and we all danced together for a sec. It was just a cute lil moment but I think it illustrates how music connects us and makes me feel connected.

That book just spoke to me in the library while browsing and has changed my life literally. Then while I was reading it, I went to an Interfaith Sanctuary service and the guest speaker was an Imam whose review of this book is on the front cover! Seemed random, but was it

[Deadman]

Like many, religion was and remains a space I avoid…

…I had to get better acquainted with newer version, my soberself…which took time.

I now find a calmness as I travel through life in the small, daily, more natural occurrences …could be a bug, bird or bison…a leaf, wave, cloud…very small things bring me some happiness