Trusting after cheating

How do I make this work? When I was in my addiction my husband was unfaithful and then I was after because of it and were trying to make things work but I just can’t get the feeling out of my head that he is cheating and stop questioning him, it’s been over a year and tonight I woke up crying because I had a nightmare he was cheating again and I want to trust him I just don’t know how to get back to that point :weary::weary: I don’t have insurance or money for counseling but I want to believe him when he says he’s not doing anything but I don’t and I know it won’t work if the trust isn’t there so how do I fix it?

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That sounds stressful for sure. Have you and your husband thought of going to see a therapist together? Another option may be individual therapy for you. I find the act of talking to a therapist to be healing and helpful.

Wishing you the best, Sassy

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Once that kind of trust is gone it’s hard to ever get back. No easy answers to these personal matters of the heart…

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You can definitely trust again but it’s going to take a good amount of time and commitment from both sides. A simple: I’m not doing anything just doesn’t cut it. Moreover since you’ve both been with other people, both sides need to work on trusting and being trustworthy again. There are a lot of self help books out there for couples. I’d start there.
I got cheated on in superlative and I’m still dealing with feelings from that coming up years later, even with a new person, as well as regarding my ex, it’s just something that I still need to pay attention to.
Give yourself and each other time, understanding and lots and lots of space to work through this. It’ll need the active work tho, it’s not going to just get fixed one-sidedly. It’s not easy but ofc it can be done if you still love each other. If you don’t, well this is your ticket out.

Best of luck!

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My husband betrayed my trust in the early days and destroyed the foundations of our relationship, who I thought he was, how he felt about me, and I felt everything I was living was a lie. It’s a tough road. It spiraled my addiction and I’m not the same person he met. But it’s been 7 years now and I found myself through it, I found my worth outside of him, we have a beautiful life now with so much goodness in it. We’re not the same people though both our ugly sides were shown and there was never any going back or fixing it, just growing and learning together as new people. There was just something in me that said this will be worth it in the end. But saying that, that nagging feeling hasn’t gone for me, I still get vulnerable paranoid or resentful and sometimes worthless. It just alot quieter these days and they don’t visit often.

But this is my story and it’s definitely not a one size fits all with personal matters. Don’t force anything don’t rush anything just take each day with your best foot forward and see what presents itself to you and work through each thing at a time x

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As a man, it’s hard to admit, my wife cheated on me for many years
Then i found out
Is been really hard to accept and work thru it

I always think…

But then i get my mind out of the gutter and just hope it’s not gonna happen again

But I’m sober. I’m hopeful
And I’m encouraged for good things

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…if you cant move on from this…then move on…

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Question … how does he feel about you cheating due to the emotional void her created in you by cheating? Does he feel the same or sooner other way? Jc (sorry that your struggling with this, but already your teaching out) :pray::slightly_smiling_face: