Ima still complain about gas prices…
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I remember being at a meeting very early on in my sobriety and hearing the phrase “take what you need and leave the rest”. Thank God I didn’t follow that advice. I was 30 days sober and didn’t have the slightest clue as to what I needed. If I would have known what I needed I’d be sober already.
In early sobriety I needed it all. I needed to take in every message, regardless of the messenger. I didn’t know where that next golden nugget might come from.
Anytime I want to just leave the rest it’s pretty obvious I’m running on self will again. And it’s self will that got me into this mess in the first place.
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True. You’ll never know what nugget got tucked away for later, until you actually need it.
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I think the intent of “Take what you need and leave the rest” is to understand what you can now, and know that when you return to it later, you will understand what you did not before. Which is really convoluted and hard for me to track in a single sentence! Agreed that encouraging cafeteria style AA is a disservice to all concerned.
Maybe the more succinct and optimistic phrase that fits is this. Don’t worry, be happy. 
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Things I’ve learned in recovery: literally everything.
Things I learned from a relapse:
This came up in a meeting today from the daily reading. I heard a lot of people say oh I learned I can’t have just one, I can’t drink like a normal person, I needed to do the work, sobriety is better, etc. But for me a relapse taught me nothing. I already knew I couldn’t drink or drug safely. I had tasted enough sobriety to know it was better. I never had anyone tell me they got sober without doing the work so deep down I knew that too.
My relapses were not from lack of knowledge. They were from apathy and lack of effort. And once I realized that my relapses were entirely my fault it empowered me to know that my recovery was within my realm too. I was empowered to change my inaction to action, my fear into faith. I didn’t need a relapse to learn that.
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Thank you, this hits hard. Do the work, keep doing the work, be patient, and stick around long enough for the miracle to happen. Nevermind the bullshit. 
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I hate the saying “relapse is part of recovery”
It’s not part of recovery, you’ve drank or used again because you haven’t got a solid enough program and you’re doing something wrong. Don’t get complacent, do the work, reap the rewards! 
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Yeah it frustrates me to. Having that belief allows people to give into urges more easily as they can justify it being expected and normal in recovery. RELAPSE DOESN’T HAVE TO HAPPEN.
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I know I had a couple of relapses because of that saying. I literally sat there and said to myself “it’s not that big a deal, others say it’s a part of recovery, I’ll just start again tomorrow.” Sadly, I didn’t start again tomorrow….it was more like 6 months later!!
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That’s the rub, right there.
Relapse happens when we transport ourselves out of the present, and start living in the future, or the past - but not the time that really matters, right now.
Relapse is prevented (stopped before it can even start) when we choose to be present, because being present - truly present - requires us to be using the same tools that keep us sober in the first place: reaching out, connecting and communicating, asking for help, being part of a community.
Being human. A fully engaged human.
Addiction is about living a life of fantasy and avoidance: “I can do my addiction and I can have this fantasy without responsibility: I can do all this addiction stuff without consequences” (which is obviously bullshit but that is textbook addiction thinking).
Relapse is just one of many addiction behaviours: relapse is an escape. Relapse is avoidance.
Relapse is addiction. It’s always been addiction; it’s addiction in the same way that isolating and using or drinking is addiction. All different names for the same basic thing: addiction.
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Its a long journey. The first five years are the easiest.
Wow. I never thought of that way. I’ve never heard anyone say this before. Brilliant. That will stick with me.
Thanks!$
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No matter how far along into our sobriety we are, if we start hearing that little voice of temptation whisper in our ear, it’s a massive red flag that we need to up our game and get back on top of it. We are never 100% safe, sobriety doesn’t make us invincible or cured.
That whisper is not our friend. Do not ever trust it or believe anything it tells you.
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Amen to that Becs 
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Yep! I’ve heard a lot about the 5 to 7 year itch!
When / if I get there I am going to carry on doing what I’m doing, going to meetings and being of service
So far it’s working
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The price of freedom is eternal vigilance.
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Eternity’s too long. I’m just vigilant today.
So happens I’ve been vigilant over a thousand days running though.
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I’ve not had a single hangover or withdrawal symptom (minus PAWS and acute withdrawal) since getting sober.
I have not overdosed since I got sober. I have not blacked out since I got sober.
I don’t have a message. Just stating facts.
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It’s when you’ve been to your ten thousandth meeting and heard it all a million times and aren’t getting the feeling of contentment that meetings used to give you.
When you realize most the old timers you used to look up to arent the same person outside the rooms and you don’t have anyone left to look up to.
When you know what everyone in your homegroup is going to share before they talk.
“Normal” people start making trying to be “normal” attractive.
You keep going through the motions. You’ve already talked about it to the members of your homegroup.
None of them cosign it.
Everyone thinks it’s a bad idea, so you quit talking about it, until you convince yourself that you will be the guy they talk about in Chapter three who can turn around and drink like a gentleman.
I was very active in AA when I took that first drink.
Nine years and ten months continuous sobriety. Gone in a moment…
It wasn’t lack of working a program that got me. There wasn’t anything I wasn’t doing in AA that got me.
The path gets narrow.
That whisper gets smarter.
Vigilance!
Switch it up. Go to different meetings. Don’t get bored. Don’t lose the fear.
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Those critical of AA state it’s authoritarian, fascistic, employs brainwashing techniques and is cult-like in its attitude to members.
I personally am glad because I’d rather be with a perceived ‘cult’ that’s moral and sober.
On the other hand I could be sober, resentful and spiteful towards other types of recovery ❤️🩹
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