Addiction can make you believe all kinds of things that aren’t true… Until you stop feeding you addiction and focus on your recovery none of those temporary remedies or replacements will ever bring you true peace…
Addiction is a disease of the mind and body that will ruin everything if you let it.
You can only know your true self by being sober.
Sober is not just a state of mind it’s a way of life.
Beautiful truth bomb!
SO TRUE. I used to try to chase happiness (well, I don’t even think it was happiness - more like self worth?) in external circumstances. And would tell myself I was goal driven. Guess what? I was always miserable and looking for relief in a bottle or a drug. Now I am (SLOWLY) learning to be happy in myself and to live in the present, feeling grateful for what I have.
PS - met some of the Maine YPAA folks on Sunday - what a fun, dynamic, energetic and inspiring group!! Thanks for hooking me up 
Love this post. I agree, I lost who I was and expected external sources to bring me happiness. That’s where I got lost but sobriety has allowed me to find myself again, such a beautiful and important thing! 
A corollary to this idea (‘be here now’ is how we said it back in the day) is that to be happy is not the only acceptable state of affairs.
Constantcy is a construct that we humans have invented. All of nature and the universe is change. We are in flux at all times. To expect a constant state of happiness is to invite addiction and madness into our lives.
Things change, whether we are okay with that or not. Radical acceptance is a belief and an attitude and a set of actions that we can practice. And by coming into harmony with our basic nature which is to change, then we touch the divine. I seek the divine, not happiness. They are closely aligned, but not the same,
I often repeat Musashi’s first maxim: “Accept things as they are.”
This is not saying we should tolerate the current state, rather we must be honest in our assessment, accept the hardest truths, if we are to embark on the disciplined path of mastering one’s self.
Too often we tell ourselves sugarcoated lies, or accept those of others, in orienting ourselves to the map of life. This is the worst kind of trap: one we are loath to attempt escape from, because the truth can be painful…but acceptance is liberating.
Thank you for this. I recently realized how much I have always chased external and fleeting things, people, jobs… thinking they would fill a void inside me. It’s only been lately that I’ve seen that, for me, an understanding of who I really am and a conscious, honest relationship with my higher power are the only ways I have a chance of filling that emptiness.
Thanks for these images. They really speak to me.
For most of my life I was always looking for the one thing I can change that would finally make me happy. As a little girl I was sure that if I had pretty long hair everyone would like me (I had a terrible, ugly, short hair cut) and I would be happy. As a teenager I was sure if I was really skinny people would think I was beautiful and I would be happy. As a young adult I was sure that if I got a boyfriend/husband I would be happy. Yet by my 30s I realized that none of those things made me happy. People didn’t like me more. I still didn’t feel “enough”. I gave up on trying to be happy and really upped my alcohol intake to escape.
Today I am working on ME making me happy. It isn’t about what other people think of me, only what I think of me. And I’m learning that I did like me all along. I just wanted everyone else to see it too. But who the eff cares anymore. Not me. I’m done with worrying about other people. (well, I do worry about my kids…but that’s my job!! LOL)
Omgg yes girl I’m so glad to hear that! It Pulls on my heart strings a bit😁 I’m so happy you found some people to be a part of and celebrate recovery with!!
@Englishd she made some friends!!!
Ahh I loved everyone’s replies and I literally have felt the exact same way… It’s crazy to think that someone as logical as me would be believe stupid lies… But my alcoholism doesn’t discriminate. I’m so grateful I know the difference now…
@MoCatt @VSue @Yoda-Stevie @SinceIAwoke @MandiH @goBlue24
Thank you for being open and honest
Being honest this very short timeframe has taken work and I’ve wrestled with myself thinking I can pick n choose what to share but at the end of the day I can’t. I went to do something medically yesterday and for the first time shared everything about myself with them involving my life, sexual, drug abuse, everything and as scary as that was. It’s going to lead me to a path to better take care of myself and for that I’m truly grateful. Being afraid or scared is okay one friend told me, it’s going to face that fear that teaches you courage and is courageous. I’m grateful for what I did yesterday even tho it scared the shit out of me but looking back it only scared the shit out of me bc I was afraid of being judge, I was afraid of airing my deep dark secrets. But man what a sense of relief it was!
Yeah, I know that feel… It’s the same when we AA’ers are doing our steps and have to do our moral inventory… And share our deepest secrets with another alcoholic… I was so afraid of what my sponsor would say if she knew everything… When I told her she just said… Is that it… 
LOL I was like you have no reaction to any of that she’s like girl I’ve done worse and heard worse. You are right where you belong and those things don’t define who you are anymore… It’s time to let them go. Omg i it’s like I had been waiting to hear that from someone who understood my pain my whole life… And it was just that simple toive forward… The drink obsession left me instantly and I was born again…
Its awesome that you are getting honest bc that is the only way we begin to change and grow! Good luck I know things will work out for you. Keep moving forward, and never look back
Next step is when I get to that point in my step work to share that with my sponsor. That will take another step of courage now being someone I know and it’s not medical held quiet by patient doctor confidentiality lol. But even just that step was a sense of freedom. I have heard that before about people’s step work, sponsors are a trip and great to have. They have heard it all if they have been in these rooms long enough. While staying clean and sober, Airing these burdens we feel and hold onto give us the ability to be truly free from active addiction.
Yes, that is one of the secrets… The other is being of service to another alcoholic… There are a lot of things that work for different people… But helping others and getting out of my way is usually the best thing for me to align myself with my higher power! I’m happy you are talking to ppl good luck in the rooms you will fit in just remember not all meetings are the same some are a hit or miss… And get active in service and do your steps… The faster you start the better you will feel!
Yes ma’am! We can only keep what we have by giving it away!
@aircircle AA ain’t ever going to be the same. Gabby do we know anyone up there. I don’t think I do…
Not one person, it was a shot in the dark but I tagged her in some posts and the power of ypaa showed up and @aircircle showed up as well!!! It’s so amazing
When’s their conference? Road trip!
Idk ima have to check we might have to make that happen 
I’ll hit you up on the book of faces in a little… I haven’t been to Maine since I was young! I’d be down! 
You gonna come out of retirement??
I would have to talk Shay into it but neither of us have been to Maine so I could cross some states off my list
