I have been drinking fairly heavily since I was a teenager. Being a very shy person I think it was my way to come out of my shell. As the years go on I have become more and more desperate to stop. It is almost like it is doing the opposite now. I started my Monday once again with horrid anxiety due to a full weekend of being intoxicated. As I make myself the same promises every Monday and each time I fail I hate myself even more. I had someone send me a wonderful book and introduce to me this app today which has helped me feel more positive and given me hope that maybe I can finally stay sober. I have given it a serious go a few times and the longest I have stayed sober is 8 weeks. I do stay sober during the week, and I am happy doing this. I have routine and structure and I enjoy it. Yet Friday comes and I lie to myself saying I will just have one drink and basically drink so excessively I can barely speak or walk. Start most of my Saturdays with thst same lie that I’ll just have one drink to make me feel better and then it is Sunday. I don’t want to feel this shame anymore. I feel like I am getting to the point that this problem is going to effect my work and relationships. This is the first time I have tried anything like this. Hoping for a more permanent change and happiness in life. I feel like I know it is out there but I keep falling into this trap.
Glad you have decided to speak up. That’s the start to a wonderful new way of life. Try not to think about not ever drinking again. Instead tell yourself you aren’t going to drink today. It’s good you don’t drink during the week but if when the weekend comes and you find yourself unable to control the amount you drink, you have a drinking problem. The first step is admitting that, which you have done. So you’ve tackled one of the hardest parts. Be proud of that! Your alcoholism wants you to drink. It needs you to drink and will not stop until you do. We have to break that cycle. Easier said than done, I know. Instead of telling yourself you deserve a drink after a long week tell yourself you deserve to be happy and not hungover. If you want sobriety you can have it but it’s completely up to you. On the weekends BEFORE you pick up get on here and talk about it. There are tons of folks here with good long term sobriety. I myself have 60 days today and I’m so grateful. We do this one day at a time. That’s the only way it can work for many of us. Maybe try an AA meeting online and just listen to what others have to say.You aren’t required to speak if you don’t want to. I’m so glad you reached out and spoke up here though. You have started a very wonderful journey. Don’t worry about yesterday. Focus on today and only today. Friday will come and focus on that when it gets here. We are here when you need and want us. Stay strong my friend you can do this.
@Inneed Jon just said it all! I don’t have anything to add other than to say welcome to our community and I hope to see you around. What has helped me tremendously is to check in every day to publicly set my intention to be sober for the day and put my head on the pillow sober at night. My name is Rosa and I have 182 days. Nice to have you aboard!
Welcome @Anneb
Jon really put it so well. You should be on the welcome committee @Inneed
Keep coming back it’s works if you work it. @RosaCanDo and I both like the daily check in. And we both do our gratitude list right here Daily Gratitude List
Every morning to start our days. Or finish them up. Whatever works for you. We can be grateful for so much when we are sober. I find gratitude is my strongest tool. It starts my day off with a great foundation.
I hope you see you around. You’re worth all the benefits sobriety has to offer. Every day of the week.
Hi @Anneb, and welcome! I’m glad you found your way here…this journey is not always easy, but it’s really worth it when you stay the course. I’ve had starts and restarts…I’m in the process of restarting right now. You can do this…stay the course. Push through the urge, and try to be patient with yourself.
We’re here when you need us, and you really do have a great group of folks.
Wishing you Blessings.
And that’s the trap. What you are searching for is not out there, it’s within, we use everything out there as an excuse to drink but when you learn to love yourself and decide your happy just the way you are with no need to add alcohol or drugs to turn you into something that you don’t even like when you get there, that’s the peace you will find and it’s inside you.
Wow thank you all so much for all these wonderful welcomes and motivational messages. It gives me a really positive feeling to know there is so much support out there. @Inneed I love that thought, ‘I deserve to be happy not hungover’! @RosaCanDo and @Dazercat I will definately try the graditude list and daily check in’s. First on my gratitude list today will be finding this app and community. Thank you again everyone!
Welcome! I don’t have any additional advice since I am super new in my sobriety. Just wanted to say I have never regretted a day I have spent sober but have regretted so many times drinking. I am 66 days sober and my anxiety is so much better. I used to think the drinking helped it but I now can see I was wrong about that. I have committed to a sober year and will re evaluate after the year is up. I have never made it past 4 days since I started drinking as a young teen so its been a journey but so worth it. Sending love and light to you in your own journey 
Thank so much for this lovely message. We’ll done on you 66 days. I relate so much to what you have said about anxiety. For some reason we think it helps but it really just makes it worse. Thank you for the motivation and good luck with your journey. 
Just know that I’m in the same spot right now! But we can do this. You’re not alone in feeling like the cycle is controlling you and you suffer because you can’t help it.
@Marycleslie thank you. It really does help to know you are not alone. And the motivation of we can do this is going to make all the difference this week I think. When did you join the app? I really feel a lot more positive since I joined last night.
I literally joined last night as well! We are literally in the same boat. It does feel amazing to have this comfortable community to rely on. It’s time to get motivated and go to the light side <3
@Marycleslie wow literally in the same boat! I feel excited thinking about the light side. A side free from Sunday/Monday anxiety 
. I partipated in the gratitude list this morning, I am going to try and make that a daily habit. Hope you are going well so far.
https://talkingsober.com/t/marching-towards-sobriety/112039/38
This thread was just created for newly sober people this month…
Welcome ladies!
After 7 or 10days,I always doing this mistake.
Can you say,why i am doing this Everytime?
Hi @RoyAntu, it can be so frustrating I know. It has been happening to me for years. I wish I had the answers to why. This app has really helped me though. I feel like I have a new outlook. Made it through my first Friday in a long time. I am also reading a book that I think is making a massive difference.