It is a hard road Aly but you have had the courage to communicate with us here, and seek mental health support. That is a very good step and shows a lot of strength.
There are others in this community who have the same or very similar complex set of conditions (including BPD), and if you search around the threads you will probably find someone you can connect with. It is not an easy road but it is possible to find a healthy path. Stick with it and take it one day at a time.
Also consider joining a recovery group in your area, or even looking into detox programs, get on a waiting list for one if you have to. This thread has many useful resources:
Don’t ever give up. You’re a worthy person, you belong, and you matter - your story matters. You can reach a place where you are healthier than you are now. You have strength and you’re capable; you are putting in effort. Take care & keep checking in with us here!