So the ticker says I’m at a day and a half sober. Since I had the drinking episode I kinda sat around in a depression funk for a couple of days. I got up today and went running, which I was supposed to do yesterday but didn’t get out because I felt so awful emotionally. The guy that I called when I was in my drunken stupor is someone I had been trying to get away from for a long time. I dealt with him in the year 2020 and our situation was very toxic. I left him alone this year but I’m ashamed to say he has been heavy on my mind. I always look at his page on social media and it’s always been clear that he is the same person that was toxic to me. I feel so dumb that I reached out to him and even worse that I blacked out when I was with him and don’t know what I did. I decided to stay off of social media definitely for all of this year because he is not the only toxic person I even look at on there. I thought about changing where I run so he don’t see me there because it is a Main Street, but he is not stealing my positive things from me. I want to get back in church and associate with positive people so that I can become truly happy. I want genuine happiness, not brought on by alcohol or lust or anything else that is toxic. I just need to find a way not to backslide. I always seem to backslide and I feel like my enemies know that and are waiting with open arms for their next chance to harm me.
Deleting social media could be a good idea. I deleted my facebook the day I decided to get sober.
Aside that from that have you tried going to meetings? I find they can be a great help. Being able to sit with people that are going through the same thing I am, being able to talk without judgment, its great.
I decided to try this app first, which there are a lot of supportive people here. I’m an introvert and I don’t do really well in social settings.
Definitely deleting social media helps
I’ve done it and only have a business IG page now. Try your best not to look at his oage and put him in the past. Everyday you move forward from him it gets easier and easier.
I hear ya. I haven’t done any meetings myself for myself. I’ve been to quite a few with my kids and
Al-Anon. They were very beneficial at that time for me. As my life was unmanageable. But I work the steps in my own way now. Especially those first 3 steps. Have you heard of in intherooms.com ? I hear you can get online and join a meeting and have your camera off and mute etc…. Just lurk around until you feel comfortable. No one will know your there. You might find a group of people you like. I’m glad your here. Keep checking in. It really helps to check in here before you pick up though. There’s always someone around.
Thank you, yes deleting social media was best for me right now. I definitely need to put him in my past and learn to appreciate myself so that I will only desire to be around people who appreciate me. I just haven’t really mastered how to do that. I think about people from the past that have hurt me. I have a toxic mentality. I need therapy but I’m so tired of therapy. I been doing counseling most of my life but stop before I really get anything out of it
It’s really great to have you here. When I attended SLAA, some of the love addicts would describe similar stories. And for awhile, I couldn’t understand why they were recoveries seemed so vigorous. I mean, no contact at all? Referring to sending an email as a slip?
But as I came out of my own, emotional, social, and love anorexia, I could see better what they were talking about. And it’s not that they’re addicted to real genuine, love. They’re addicted to a counterfeit. It’s a feeling, a rush that such a person generates for them. And it’s addictive and destructive. And it’s extremely challenging to come out of.
So boundaries have to be set. No contact. No receiving or sending phone calls or texts. No stalking their social media, etc. Even thinking about the person generates the same unhealthy process. However, nothing can always prevent the circumstantial event of accidentally bumping into the person of interest at the grocery store. Then they have that to deal with.
Anyways, thank you for sharing. You’re off to a good start.
No contact has always been difficult for me, no matter how destructive a person has been in my life. I realize I will never fully be able to move forward with my life and happiness if I don’t do this. Social media has been my rope to hang on to them and I make up all sorts of excuses not to just get rid of social media although it’s doing me more harm than good. It’s keeping me stuck in the past. I always feel that if I don’t have Facebook then I will be out of the loop or that my published books won’t be selling, but the only loops I’m in are being dragged in negative circles and I’m an anti social introvert so my books are barely selling anyways. I need to delete my page altogether and not look back, but look forward to happiness.
I feel you. I have never had really positive experiences on most social media. I keep Facebook messenger for the odd message from my mom; I have LinkedIn for professional stuff. I have Talking Sober which is the only place I actually socialize online.
I used to be quite active on Facebook & Instagram but I’ve let them go and I don’t really feel any desire to go back.
To replace that I’ve developed friendships with some of the people I met in recovery groups, and some colleagues at work. I go for walks, I organize BBQs (safe! always safe 
), I do art at home. I’m not really missing anything from dropping the social media.
Try stepping back for a bit and see how you feel. If you combine that with some activity on Talking Sober and/or other online recovery spaces (for example, the list of groups Sassy has here; many have online options and you can leave your screen off at many meetings: Resources for our recovery) - if you do that you’ll probably reach some new insights about yourself.
One day at a time, and don’t crave alone