Hello everyone,
I’m actually so glad this chat room exists bc I’ve talked about how nice it would be to go somewhere & talk about everything. My boyfriend & I dibble dabbled wit heroin here & there until we were hooked & I had to tell my mom & my dad. They helped me detox (which was the most painful I have ever done) but I did & got clean. Maybe a month or two later my dad died & I turned back to h hard & fast. If I was high I wasn’t thinking about how much my heart hurt that my dad wasn’t here. Well now I’m day 2 of detoxing again. Half of me jus once to say “screw it my dads not here jus keep getting high & the other half of me knows this is the not the life I want.” Spending more then 160$ a day on a waitress salary. I think the hardest part of for me right now is time. I can’t wait for months to pass of being clean, or even weeks. I can’t believe I feel so bad bc of something I did to myself. The aches, the chills, the up & down body temputare, insomnia. I keep trying to stay positive. If anyone has any words of wisdom I would appreciate it…
Sorry about your dad. Addiction is hard enough to manage without massive traumas to deal with. However you said he and your mum helped you to detox, you have to do this for yourself, but use that as a motivation. And don’t think weeks or months just yet , think -TODAY , the next 10 minutes if you need to. You can do this, check in here when you need to 
Condolences to your farther and I’m 9 days clean of addiction i am in AA alcohol anonymous I’m in recovery alcohol has taken 13 years of my life and ruined career opportunities and alot of things I’m 25 I’m struggling to just like you but there is support for you and you dont have to do this on your own i just take it a at a time which is good just focus on the present not years or months and there is a group that can help you it’s called Narcotics anonymous it is all over the world it is great and take a look at it and find your nearest meeting and go to it i go to a meeting everyday and it’s great plus i get treatment for my alcohol addiction
Welcome and I’m sorry for your loss. Losing a parent must be incredibly difficult. Try to think of what your dad would have wanted for you. Your parents helped you to get sober once before. He would want you to be happy and healthy. There are lots of resources to help you get through the initial withdrawal. Just take it one day at a time.
Check out this thread for a list of resources for staying sober:
It also wouldn’t be a bad idea to speak with a grief counselor if you have the means. It’s important to learn how to manage emotions during the grieving process. Sobriety will allow you to move past your grief while using will only keep you in your grief. There are a lot of empathetic, non-judgmental people here on the forum. You are in the right place. Thank you for sharing your story. We will try to support you to the best of our ability during this difficult time.
I strongly concur with the suggestion of going to a grief counselor. My dad died several years ago and I should have gotten professional help with processing my loss. I have no doubt that the grief contributed to my alcohol abuse.
Thank you everyone for all the kinds words! I appreciate it more then I can express bc I felt like I was doing this alone which is when the emotional part would take over. It’s day 3. I’m feeling better, not 100% but I’m not guna use today! To me, that’s jus one step closer to putting this behind me!