Back in July of 2021 I admitted to myself finally that I had had a problem with alcohol. I went 10+ months without a drink and was feeling absolutely fantastic. In April of 2022 I had a bachelor trip in Cancun for my best friend. Going into the trip my plan was to stay sober. Unfortunately, being surrounded by drunk people I caved.
Looking back I regret turning back to the drink. I certainly am in a much better place than I was the last time I decided it was time to stop. But I still believe I have a problem. No longer am I drinking daily or itching to have that post work cocktail to unwind. But when I go out to socially drink I still have trouble stopping at times and drink to excess. I’m 32 years old and I don’t want to feel this way anymore. I suffer from severe depression and anxiety. Because of this my body and brain handle and process alcohol different than a lot of people. Say I have some drinks on a Saturday I’m still feeling out of it come Monday-Wednesday. And during that short stretch post partying is the hardest time for me to try to not have a drink.
I hate how socially accepted drinking is. I hate how it’s everywhere you go. It makes it so so hard for someone like me to stop. I’ve had enough though. It’s time to get back on the sobriety horse. But now it is for good.
Welcome. Have you ever been to any AA or Smart or Recovery Dharma meetings? As you say, it sometimes feels like everyone is drinking (seemingly with no problems) so it is nice to meet people who are on the sober journey too. It kinda fortifies you that there are others who feel and think like you do.
It is hard to be different and the non drinker. But once people get used to you not drinking they will hopefully accept it and leave you alone with your soft drink.
Hi Sean, welcome here.
Being surrounded by drinking people can be a burden to us. But I think that because of our troubled relationship with alcohol we are focussed to see those people drinking around us as well. Because there are also people around me who do not drink. But I tent to see who does
Also in commercials, movies even animations…I see alcohol everywhere. I think it says something about me as well. About my alcohol addiction.
It doesn’t trigger me anymore because of the amount of days sober I have.
So I can assure better days are coming for you too!
But for now it’s better to avoid alcohol related friends, places and events for a while untill you can handle it better and they do not trigger you.
At least I did in the beginning of my recovery.
Do you have some help with the depression/anxiety?
Welcome.
I’ve been here multiple times back and forth for about 5 years. Staying sober for days, weeks,months and ever years.
Getting through a lot of difficult times sober. But once in a while there comes something, it can be a tiny thing that makes me drink again.
But everytime that happens I learn something new about myself and my triggers, which I can use for next time.
Sure we’re surrounded by alcohol and it’s socially acceptable to drink. But we have to remember that a lot of people actually can drink one or two and be happy with that. I can drink one or two as well my problem is that I want that light buzz every day if I’m getting started.
So that’s why I’m here again trying to stay sober.
When I choose to drink, all my relapses has been on me alone. Not on society, not on family and friends who drinks. It’s all on me, because no matter what It’s still my choice.
It’s not easy to choose not to. But it’s worth s try, and another try, and even a third or 11th try. Because as long as you keep trying there’s still a chance to make it to a better life.
Man I felt and typed your words many of times my friend. I just turned 40. All I can say, stay sober. I’m almost 24 days in. Been here many times and even for longer. Every time I fall back thinking I can handle it, it comes back with a VENGEANCE. What helps me is the way I fell when sober. My mind is clear, I’m in purpose, and I don’t have a heavy heart anymore. Trust I still get the urges depending on the day. After a good song comes on, hard day at work, the weather is hittin just right, and the crowd I’m with. But I have gotten good at stepping back away from myself and reading the situation. That one drink, (I know) is gonna lead me to feeling like crap tmrw and a few days after. I don’t want to be a zombie anymore. And I’m with you on how “normal” it is in this world to get drunk/have a drink. Like it’s wrong to have fun without it. Not true! I’m not gonna Bible thump ya. Just sharing my experience. If you want to really change, give Jesus a try brother. He’s waiting for you. All the sin in this world. It’s the way of the world. Look up celebrate recovery on YouTube. Check out some videos. I go to a group at a local church that’s like AA but it’s faith based. It’s good to get around people with good intentions and not out there living life with a drink. I couldn’t do it without. I will pray for your strength my friend. Stay focused on that good energy you have inside you about giving up the cup.
Welcome aboard, Sean. You’ve been on the sober path before and you certainly can do it again. Visit TS often, read around, see what helps you. You’re absolutely right, that alcohol is so heavily involved in many aspects of society. We are almost brainwashed into thinking it’s a healthy part of adulthood. What a load of crap! Yeah, back in the sixties everybody thought smoking cigarettes was the adult thing to do too. So, good on ya for getting back on track.
Welcome and so glad to have you here on the boards!!!
Your story is so similar to many of us. Are you on meds for your depression or have someone you’re talking with? That might be helpful. Coming here is a great step. Join in and share, reply and read D A I L Y !!
Also for myself, and maybe this could help you, I am choosing myself each day. This is hard for me as Im a giver and very much a person who thinks of others first. Its my pull as a mom and maybe my nature. I am learning to be selfish and not worry about others, as much.
Hope we see you hear a lot. Best of luck!!
Love this and I genuinely relate to your story. Because after 10 months of being sober and then coming back to drinking. I have not blacked out like I used to. I have not drank until I was falling asleep. And I had gotten much better at drinking “responsibly” and knowing when to stop. But just like you it becomes the daily routine of wanting to have a drink or two after work to relax.
Thank you so much for this. It’s nice to know I’m not alone in how I feel. And I am happy you brought up Jesus because I recently (few months back) found my faith after years being away. Thanks for your tips definitely going to check out the YouTube video
Well, remember everyone is there for the same reason.
There are also online options. I listened with mic and camera off for several meetings, then just used mic, and now I put both on.
This link is to online AA, there are also online meetings of other groups if you search, I am sure.
I have recently learned that the opposite of addiction is connection. Here, the rooms, sober friends, etc. For me, I was who I hung out with. Building a new network is uncomfortable, takes time and feels awkward. But it happens. And before you know it you have a small army of people on your phone that you can call anytime. Anytime. I started by asking for a list of numbers at a meeting. A one minute phone changed the course of my life more than once. The best part is: all I need to really worry about is today. That’s it. You got this. Welcome.
What is your RECOVERY plan? All I see in your post is talk about “sobriety”. What is your recovery plan? The reason why people fail to succeed is that that they either have no plan or they fail to follow instructions for the plan they are using. You don’t have to like the plan. You do have to follow it.
