So I have been sober for 54 days now after a relapse in may that ended up with me being hospitalized for almost 2 weeks. I recently had to move back in with my estranged spouse due to financial reasons. I am trying really hard to not lose it, but he has been drinking all weekend. He thinks I don’t know because he is “hiding” his booze somewhere in the garage. First of all I am not an idiot, I know when he is drinking by the way he walks, talks and passes out on the couch multiple times during the day while I am out doing yard work. I had told him I honestly don’t care if he drinks, but to the point of being passed out all f’ing day while I am cutting down trees is bulls**t. I hate that he thinks I’m stupid. If I wanted to drink, I would! Fact is I see how worthless he has become and I don’t want to be like that.
I do miss the being social part of drinking…I love sitting outside on a patio having a cold beer, but for me I can’t just have 1. I drink until I black out, then I get super depressed, end up binging for days on end to where I have almost died from alcohol posioning or from self harm.
Ugh sorry to vent, but I seriously feel like I want to punch him in the face. And, no, unfortunately I can’t move out right now. I have tons of medical and credit card debt. I also had a leg fracture so I have been out of work since May.
Just looking for some insight. This kinda of stuff almost makes me what to say F it all.
That’s a hard one to deal with. I am proud of you though. You are making strides to get better. You will get on your feet soon until then just take it one day at a time. You got this and we are here for you.
Hey! I’m so glad you came here to vent. That’s why we are here. It’s one of the many reasons I attend meetings. I always feel better and it allows you to dole out some of that angst to people who get it. Glad you joined us. 54 days is very impressive. Congrats on your freedom!
This is where the serenity prayer can come in to play, you have no control over him the only thing you have control over whist in that house is how you react to the situation.
My cousin was hospitalized late last year through his drinking, he was released from hospital doing well with his sobriety I can only assume he said f it because within a week of having another drink he was no more due to multiple organ failure so please don’t hit the fuck it button:grinning:
I say the prayer so many times during the weekends when he is home. That is mainly why i spend the majority of my day outside! Thank you for the support!
Congratulations on your 54 days and welcome to TS. Glad you found the perfect community for your vent in us
Looks like you’re stuck in a shitty situation. A lot of people here avoid being around people that still drink during early recovery. I get that you’re frustrated, I would be too. But I’m really proud of you for sticking it out and not losing your mind or your sobriety over it. Try and limit your time being at home at the same time to a bare minimum. For the weekends, why don’t you try finding a new hobby that takes you out of the house? Search your area for community groups that meet up on the weekend. Walking, hiking, bird watching, book club, knitting circle. If it’s for you, get involved in church. Help setting up for service, choir, bible stories for kids. Other volunteering like litter picking, community gardening or marshaling local evens like runs, marathons, farmers markets or car parks for stadiums.
Maybe there is something for you. Hope to see you around on here.
